If you’re grieving the bodily loss of a loved one, I know how easy it is to fall into a pit of self-pity.
But, when we’re wallowing in self-pity, we blind ourselves to all the ways that our loved ones are reaching out and reminding us that they are still here!
During periods of distress, especially in the early days of my bereavement, I found myself unable to receive communications from Jean. I believe that the signs of his presence were still being transmitted, but I was too upset to notice.
Consider the analogy of a cell phone in a tunnel. While in the tunnel, we’re not aware that we have received a call. But as soon as we exit the tunnel, we discover a message waiting for us.
Intense emotions such as grief, anger, and sadness block reception and create the illusion that we aren’t receiving signals from our loved ones. It’s as if an emotionally stormy climate blocks our receiver, just as atmospheric storms block the reception of television or radio signals. Jean has reminded me again and again that internal chaos interferes with our capacity for receiving messages and signs.
I have noticed that adverse emotional states not only block reception but also transmission. In short, my distress prevented Jean from reaching me. This may explain why messages from Jean abound when I am particularly happy and I am an open vessel. In fact, my openness actually seems to assist Jean in piercing the veil to reach me. Just as laughter or anger is infectious and instills a similar reaction in others, when I am more love filled and open, it seems to invite a similar reaction in Jean. His manifestations of love are then able to flow freely.
So, how can you stop your intense emotions from dead bolting your heart and rendering you blind and deaf to a spirit’s attempts to communicate?
Lift the Needle Off the Record!
Let me share a story that illustrates what I mean.
I recently had a phone session with a Hay House radio fan who asked me to work with her privately.
When we began our phone call, it was clear that she was drowning in pain and sorrow over her mother’s bodily loss two-years ago. She and her mom were best friends.
She had already read Love Never Dies but she still wasn’t connecting.
As soon as we began, I could feel the rawness of her pain.
Contrary to the popular saying, time heals all wounds, her pain was as fresh as the day her mom left her body. This is true for everyone who grieves because it isn’t natural for us to be separated from those we love.
And, time doesn’t make us stop loving or stop missing those we love.
The only solution to our pain is reconnecting.
As I listened to her weeping and weeping over missing her mom, I was again reminded of how grieving puts us into a reverie in which we get stuck, like a needle that gets stuck on a record.
In our grief, we drown in pain over the person we’re missing. Then, the more we miss our loved one, the more depressed we get. Then, we keep mentally repeating the same depressing thoughts, which only makes us more depressed.
The good news is this entire process can be aborted by simply lifting the needle off the record, which turns off our internal broken record player.
I lifted the needle for her by asking her, “Would you like me to help you reconnect now?”
She said, “Yes.”
So, I put her in a trance, and within seconds she started laughing like a hyena.
I thought, “What’s happening. Is she losing it?”
Then, I started laughing too.
I soon realized her mom was energetically cloning herself inside both of us, and we were feeling mom’s crazy, giddy energy.
My client confirmed that her mom was always a prankster, and that they were always laughing.
Suddenly, mom showed herself to me by pushing up her own boobs. I thought I was losing it for sure!
But, I bit the bullet and told my client what I saw.
She cracked up and confirmed that Mom used to do just that!
One week later, I talked to my client and she said that her grief has lifted.
She isn’t drowning in misery and she feels her Mom’s presence every minute. She said that the experience of reconnecting was a total transformation for her.
If you’re drowning in self-pity over missing your loved one in spirit, here’s what I want you to do.
Take a breath and then force yourself to come into this moment.
Then, make yourself lift the needle off the negative broken record that’s playing in your head.
Common broken record thoughts include: I miss my loved one. I’ll never get over the pain, etc.
When you lift the needle, I want you to create the mental image of a horse that’s veered off the trail. That horse is you.
Now, steer yourself back on the trail.
Next, do my Visualization and Meditation for Making Contact. I’ve recorded them for you in my Love Never Dies Meditation Audio, which is available here), and begin to dialogue with your loved one.
Make sure you’re in a trance before you start the dialogue, so that you are sure to be receptive to spirit.
Now, make a first feeling statement, not a statement about how you miss your loved one, which only takes you back to the pity party place, which is the opposite of lifting the needle!
Instead, make a loving, connecting statement.
Then, pause and see what comes back– a word, a sentence, a mental picture, a physical sensation…
Already you’ll be starting to feel better from the moment you receive your first communication.
Now, make another communication and see what comes back.
In no time you will be reconnecting! As you will see, reconnecting is your antidote to the pity party of pain and misery that is associated with grieving. And, by the way, grieving is synonymous with disconnection!
I know it takes discipline to lift the needle and steer yourself back on track, but the rewards that await you when you reconnect with your loved ones in spirit are worth the effort…and the only way to put an end to the self-pity that plagues those who grieve. And the only way to replace your grief with joy!
I know that sometimes we all need a little help to lift the needle–just like my client did.
That’s why I created my 8-week Love Never Dies Course. My 8 pre-recorded video lessons, 3 pre-recorded groups calls and bonus audios are my way of holding your hand and guiding you to lift the needle!
To find out more about how to reconnect and Dialogue with your Departed, check out my number one International Bestseller, Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased.