My man spends too much time on the the phone with his friends and cousins. He hardly ever talks to me when I call him, but if I call him and he is talking to one of them he will tell me he will talk to me later.He never wants come and see me. I have to beg him to come and see me and sometimes he still doesn’t come. Sometimes he acts as if am not on the phone and he starts talking about other girls with people in his back ground. He uses profanity while talking to me. If we’re on three way with one of his friends he acts like he’s scard to tell me he loves me.What should I do?
You aren’t being treated the way you should be. When I read your story, I see a woman who is being emotionally battered. People who have been mistreated when they were young become battered adults.This is because they suffer from what’s called the Battered Child Syndrome. A person with this syndrome truly believes that it’s normal to be mistreated, which explains why they choose lovers or spouses who mistreat them.I was horrified to read your letter and see how you are being disrespected. I was also so sad and concerned for you that you don’t realize that you shouldn’t be treated this way.I want you to hear me and believe my words. His behavior isn’t proper. The first step in your healing is to believe what I say and make the idea become a part of your truth. Each time he disses you, hear my voice saying, ‘Look at that, I’m being abused again. I’m not supposed to be.’Observe the abuse and label it each time it happens. The sheer process of observation helps you to carve out a new self separate from the abused self. Little by little this new and separate self will take center stage and it will guide you to put your foot down, demand better treatment, and if you don’t get it, your new self will guide you to hit the road or send the person who’s mistreating you packing.
