Me and my ex split up because he already had 2 kids, he had full custody of them since they were 1yr & 2yrs old and when I met him, the kids were 6 & 7, He did not want any more. We were together 3 years. but he still did not want any more kids. So I walked out, because I knew that I wanted to have children one day.3 years later, I met and married this man, but I did not love him like I loved my ex. but, I knew that I would never be with my ex-. , because he never wanted anymore kids. So I got married, knowing how I still felt. I love my husband very much, but I do not love him like I did with my ex. (I had total different feelings with my ex. )Should I have waited until I was over my feeling for the ex. because it has been almost 12 years now. I still have those same feelings when I bump into him. Now he is still single, but the kids are 18 years old.Now he would like to see me. but I am married now with 2 little girls, a 1 year old and a 4 year old. (I am happy with my Husband, but I wish I had those strong feelings with my husband instead of my ex. Could the saying be right You meet the love of your life, that makes you tingle all over when you think about him, but you do not get on the same boat at the same time.So life goes on, but you still carry those feeling with you to your grave. Is that a bad thing. , to still have that strong of feeling for your ex. I thought that those feelings would eventualy go away, but they have not.
I think that you made the hardest decision that anyone has to make in this life. You gave up a man that you adored, because having children was your top priority in life. Because of this, you placed being a mother ahead of your love for this man.You need to respect and honor the choice you made and not indict yourself for the fact that you loved and still love this man. You can’t help how you felt and continue to feel. To blame yourself for your feelings is a formula for insanity. Accept how you feel and also accept the choice you made.You are lucky to have loved this man the way you have. That love will always stay in your heart. The love you have for your husband is love also, albeit a different, less passionate type of love. It seems that you are compatible with your husband and that he gave you what you most wanted, a family.Nobody can have it all. You surely have come close in the sense that you have had passionate love in your life; you also have experienced companionate love with your husband and a maternal love for your children. You are a rich woman. Stop torturing yourself with guilt!