When I was in college I dated a guy who introduced me to some unusual but enjoyable love making. He would penetrate me anally while i inserted a vibrator in my vagina. Both of us enoyed it. I found this quite pleasureable and I guess I became addicted to it.Unfortuantely my fiancee is not too keen on this and thinks any kind of anal sex is revolting and done only by homosexuals. Any suggestions on how I can get him to loosen up some and be a little more broad minded.I love him very much but I do want to have a happy and satisfying sex life! Thanks!
You are in a tight spot! The problem here isn’t one of helping your boyfriend to become more broad minded.The real cause of his closed attitude can be traced to his own terror over his own homosexual impulses. He has said that he thinks only gay men engage in anal intercourse. If he allowed himself to engage in anal intercourse, I think his buried homosexual impulses would surface and scare the hell out of him.You are really in a bind here. To pressure him is only going to create more anxiety and resistance. You might try to soften his homophobia by reassuring him that all straight men have homosexual impulses (see my Advice Archives).I have the sense that this kind of discussion won’t do much to help. I think that he will simply reject this idea and become even more rigid. The only other thought that I had was for you to stimulate yourself rectally, using the vibrator. Since a vibrator has been part of your sexual act, just switch where it gets placed so that you are the one doing the anal stimulation, and leave him out of that part of the equation.If you can’t find a way of adapting to his homophobia, including his reluctance to perform anal intercourse, then you will need to evaluate whether he is the partner for you.
