I’m a 25 year old educated male. My girlfriend is a gorgeous 22 year old. We are madly in love and know that we will be spending the remainder of our lives together.

We are generally very happy with our lives and our relationship. We compliment each other in every way.

We have been together for 19 months. Initially her sex drive was very high and there was much experimentation and exploration of each others sexuality. She can generally orgasm within a few short minutes and she can sometimes orgasm 10 times during a 20 minute love making session.

As time went on and the novelties of the relationship wore off (ending of honeymoon period) we became aware of what specifically will turn the other on and we stuck to the same sexual ‘routine’ for the next 10-12 month stage of our relationship.

The last 6 months her desire for sex progressively declined- yet our romance and love maintained its strong position. We would have had sex maybe 6 times in the last 2 months. Half of those 2 months were spent on holidays have a wonderful time and being connected.

She is clearly unhappy about this, we have discussed strategies to overcome this but they don’t seem to work and the same ‘justification’ kept coming up… This justification was often to do with time hasn’t been right etc etc. both of us know that this is a simple excuse.

She has never been into self masturbation. She takes the OCP. She also does not exhibit signs of normal menstruation. Her body experiences the natural menstrual cycle, both hormonally and psychologically but does not bleed. She has had this assessed by a team of Obstetrician/Gynaecologists and they explained that she is a lucky few people that have this presentation. Her fertility is unaffected.

She doesn’t take any other medications. Uses small amounts of marijUana weekly. She experiments with other drugs infrequently.

She has never had such a significant loss of sexual desire. She has been sexually ‘normal’ in her previous relationships. I have asked if her loss of desire has anything to do with dissatisfaction with our sex ‘style’ and she denies this idea. We have a trusting and loving relationship so I wouldn’t suspect she be telling me lies pertaining to a potential dissatisfaction with me.

What could this be? How best might I approach this?

Dr Jamie Turndorf Answered question March 2, 2023