A very important question I have been talking to my friend for some time now and I feel like he is leading me on because he’s always talking about how he wants to be with me and then when I make that next move he’ll say we are rushing things.I just feel like he is leading me on and I really want to be with him. Please tell me what to say to and what to do.
It’s clear to me that the man you’re interested in has mixed feelings about becoming close to another person. At times he gives you the green light and tells you that he wants you, then when you come toward him, to close the deal, so to speak, he closes the door in your face.When dealing with a person who is so conflicted about closeness, you can’t be as forward as you’re being. On the contrary, when he says he wants you, you need to voice his own hesitant feelings, by saying that you both need to be sure not to go too fast.If you keep your distance, he will feel safer to come closer to you. Keep in mind that while the technique I outline will ‘work’ in terms of getting him to come closer, the real problem–his fear of intimacy and closeness–still will exist. This means that he will be backing up as soon as you step toward him.There is chance that your playing it cool and respecting his need for space will gradually help him overcome his terror of closeness. That’s the best case scenario and I hope that this is the way the situation with him shakes down.Worst case scenario is that you succeed in tricking him to come closer by behaving more distant, only to find him running away once again as soon as you try to come toward him. If you’re up for the risk that the second scenario is what plays out, then use my above technique and be prepared for a bumpy ride with this guy.