Dear Dr. Love,Why do men who are in happy, healthy relationships go to strip bars? My boyfriend (of 4 years) and I are both 30 something professionals. He does not go to strip bars, out of respect for my wishes. But he says he would go occasionally if I weren’t so strongly opposed to it. I feel comfortable that he loves me and finds me attractive. Our sex life is mutually satisfying in both quality and quantity. (If traditional stats are to be believed, we tend toward the high end of the curve. )But I don’t understand this stripper thing. I’ve been to see male strippers as part of the bachelorette ritual, but not in the last 10 years or so. I have absolutely no desire to go now and I don’t understand why he would want to go if he were happy with our relationship. At the same time, I believe him when he says he is happy. Men obviously think differently about strippers. Or the whole thing means something different to them.Any thoughts?
This is a great question that millions of women want answered. Men are not wired for monogamy. Simply compare the reproductive functions of men and women’s bodies. When a woman becomes pregnant, she can’t become pregnant for practically another year. Men, on the other hand, can impregnate more than one woman a day! In fact, the survival of the species is based upon a man’s ability to impregnate as many women as possible.When a man marries, and commits to be faithful sexually, an unnatural expectation is being placed on his body. His body is not wired for monogamy. It is wired for variety. And, this explains why married men like to introduce variety into their sexual relationships with their wives through various means such as role playing, fantasy, videos, strip clubs, etc. . These activities provide a way for them to satisfy their biological urges within the context of a monogamous relationship.It is actually a men’s love for their wives and girlfriends that drives them to find outlets for their urges, which still keep them faithful. I hope my answer has sheds light on the question.