I am a first-year female college student wondering how to loosen up my boyfriend (also college freshmen) while having intercourse. He always outlasts me, and seems to be almost sexually insatiable.It takes him almost an hour and a half of speedy thrusts to orgasm, and he can have sex 3 or 4 times consecutively – we were both virgins before we met each other – we have sex about 3-4 times a week. I’m telling you – picture the energizer bunny, okay? IS there anything I can do to just make him come faster? Relax more?When I try to do the things he likes, like stimulate nipples or earlobes, he just goes faster, longer. . . Sometimes it just lasts too long for me. Am I not normal? Is he not normal? Should this be a concern? Or is it just young sex drive? What can I do? I can’t satiate this male body. . . maybe you could teach me something.
Your boyfriend does take quite a while to achieve orgasm. I can’t tell you how many women would like to be in your shoes, and in your bed! This is because many young men orgasm too quickly, and they need to learn to slow down.Your guy is the opposite. He is suffering from what is called ‘retarded ejaculation.’ What we need to do is figure out what is slowing him down. You say that you want to loosen him up. Do you suspect that he takes so long to orgasm because he is inhibited in your presence?I will show you how to find out if this is true later in my answer. Is he slow to orgasm when you stimulate him manually?I ask this question because many men find it easy to orgasm with the tighter stimulation of the hand, but more difficult to adapt to the looser feeling of the vagina. We need to do some bedroom detective work and put our finger on the actual cause of the problem.So, ask him. Does he take this long when he masturbates on his own. If he says that he comes quickly by himself, then ask him to show you what he does to stimulate himself to orgasm. Then, you try to do what he does to himself. If he is slow to come even when you apply the technique that he uses, then we can assume that he is inhibited to let go in front of a partner. In which case, psychotherapy would be in order.If he can orgasm more quickly when you manually stimulate him, then we have to figure that he is having trouble adapting to the softer sensations of your vagina. You can experiment with positions. Certain positions will provide more stimulation to his penis.Try rear-entry, which doesn’t allow for as deep penetration. The lower third of the vagina is smaller and tighter. Also learn the Kegel exercises, which consist of alternately tightening and releasing the muscles that you use to urinate.As these muscles strengthen, you can use them to tightly grip his penis during intercourse. Doing so will feel more like the firmer grip of a hand around his penis. And this tighter grasp should help him to orgasm before you develop a rug burn in your vagina.As for the frequency of sex. There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ amount of sex. If you find a partner whose desire closely matches yours, there will be less friction (I don’t mean sexual friction) on the subject.One way to handle your differing levels of desire is for you to stimulate him in non-intercourse ways. In this way, he can get satisfied by you, even when you aren’t in the mood.Good luck. Let me know what happens.
