I met this guy 2 months ago and after many hours of talking on the phone and going out a few times, I have started to fall in love with him. He says he likes me a lot but we have decided to be friends because neither of us is ready for a relationship.I told him once that I did not want to like anybody because I was afraid of getting hurt again because of previous experiences. Some time after that he asks me whether I ever considered that he may be Mr Right, but not right now. He also says that he’s knocking, won’t I let him in’.He also once asked whether I thought we would ever be married and when I asked why he was asking, he said he was just playing around. Is he dropping hints and if so, can you tell how much he really likes me? Will this end up being something to look forward to?Please help me. I have been hurt numerous times and I would like to know if I should pursue this one.
He certainly does seem to be interested in you. He drops all kinds of hints (asking vague, general questions like, have you considered that I might be Mr. Right. And even, whether you thought you would ever marry each other). He has even gone farther and said that you won’t let him in. He wouldn’t be saying all these things if he weren’t interested.The problem here is that he’s scared to be rejected, so he puts a toe in the water, and when he doesn’t find a gushing warm spring beneath him, he pulls back his toe. For example, when he asked if you ever thought you would be married to each other, he was testing to see how much you liked him. He needed a green light from you at that point (read my Archives on Green Lights). A green light might have been,’I do like you very much, and I am open to that possibility, etc.) When you didn’t supply a Green Light, and threw the question back to him, saying why do you ask, he chickened out and retreated.I understand why you didn’t respond to his question. You, too, are scared of rejection. And, you wanted more assurances from him before you would take a chance and put your feelings out there.So, basically you’re both playing chicken with each other, and are locked in a Mexican Chicken Stand-Off.How can you get around this? First, read all my Archives articles under: shy, scared to make the first move, fear of rejection, and so on. After reading up, you should feel more willing to be direct with him.Ultimately, you will need to stop standing on ceremony and give him more Green Lights, and respond positively when he drops hints. You will also need to have an open discussion about your mutual feelings.If you don’t want to miss the chance with this man, you have no choice but to be more active and verbal. In other words, you have more to risk by not taking the bull by the horns.And, by the way, you both should take my Compatibility Test. When you find out how compatible you are, you will both feel safer and more confident to approach each other.
