I met this guy; he is everything that I am looking for in a man. He is my ‘dream man’!The problem is that he is not attractive to me. I love talking with him on the phone but in person, I am turned off by his looks! I am not shallow, even though it sounds like I am.We first started talking on the phone, and I loved everything about him until finally we met in person! I am still seeing him but I can’t get over how unattractive he is to me! What can I do?Should I ignore the fact that I am not physically attracted to him? I know that looks are everything but I am afraid that if we get serious, I may cheat on him!Please Help!
When you talk about this man get the image of a woman holding your nose while she swallows her medicine. I think you know that love isn’t supposed to be a bitter pill that you have to make yourself swallow.It is true that physical attraction can grow out of feelings of love. But, you say that you already love this man, and still your desire level leaves something to be desired.This isn’t encouraging. Your gut is already sending you flares–you are worried that you would cheat on him, and this worry is surfacing before you have even tied the knot. Not a good sign. Does your friend know how you feel?I would be concerned that his attachment to you will keep on growing as time passes. So, you won’t want to drag this out too long. Do you think that if you gave yourself more time that some sexual stirring might begin? If not, then why wait?You may just need to accept the fact that you are great friends and nothing more.Sexual attraction is the cement that binds most couples together. It isn’t essential, especially if the partners don’t feel that sex is a big part of their lives. But, if you want sex to be a part of your life, then marrying someone who doesn’t light your fire is a set up for disaster from the get-go.