I need some advice. I am in a very loving relationship with a wonderful man, and I hope in the future that we will be married.Sometimes my self-confidence is not 100% which in turn brings some insecurity into our relationship. I don’t like hearing about his past relationships, and actually he rarely/never talks about other women, but, when I can guess that he’s talking about something which includes him spending time with an ex in his past – it bothers me. He also has female friends who I feel slightly threatened by (I trust him completely but I think they might be in love with him).I guess I am a slightly jealous person, and I find it difficult to control my temper and emotions. The problem is that I want to learn how to not become upset about something that is in the past. We have had this same kind of fight on numerous occasions, why can’t I just accept the fact that he loves me, he lives with me, and that his past doesn’t matter?I am afraid of pushing him away but I also can’t seem to curb my emotions, on average I get upset about once a month around the time of my period and I am on the pill but does that have anything to do with it? Sometimes I think that shouldn’t be an excuse.
Strong emotional reactions that seem disproportionate to the triggering event are a clue that unfinished childhood business is adding fuel to the fire.You are jealous of his interest in other women. What you are really saying is that you are afraid that he will leave you for someone better. Low self-esteem and fear of abandonment are interfering with your relationship.Find out how your fears relate to your past and then work through your issues. Separating then from now will help tone down your angry reactions. You will also benefit by reading my book, Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First) which will show you how to discuss your angry feelings without going off the wall.You must learn to discuss your anger properly. If you don’t, you may drive him away. The plan for you consists of figuring out the origin of your intense emotions, working these issues through, and learning the correct way to communicate your angry feelings.It is surely true that your mood is more volatile prior to your menstrual cycle. You can certainly take some natural remedies, available in your health food store. But don’t think that this is a cure all for you.Even if you become less irritable, you will still feel angry from time to time. So you will still need to learn how to communicate your anger properly, even if the outbreaks become less frequent.
