Dr Love,I’ve been married for a little over a year, the problem is that I’ve also been seeing another man on the side for the past two years. He is also married. Neither one of us wants to hurt our partners, but each of our relationships are sorely missing something, and we only seem to be able to find that something with each other. When this started, it was purely a sexual thing, but now I have strong feelings for this other man. He has begun to show signs of the same. Now I feel lost, I’m not sure anymore if I truly loved my husband when I married him, or if it was just a thing to do. Any advice from you would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
The big question for you is: do you want to save your marriage or not. If you want to consider saving your marriage, then the first step is to figure out what the missing. An affair can be very informative and even healing for a marriage if you know how to bring what you have learned about yourself and your needs to good use.So, first, assess what you receive from your lover that is so meaningful for you. Ask yourself what your lover gives you that you need. When you figure that out, I would directly tell your husband what you need (don’t complain about where he went wrong). Then, I would ask your husband directly whether he can provide you with these necessary ingredients. If he wants to maintain the marriage with you, he should respond favorably. If he doesn’t, then you will have your answer as to which way to proceed, and your question will be solved. Good luck.