Dr Love,I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We have broken up twice. The last time was at the end of 1998. After a couple of months we got back together.The problem is that I am laid back and my boyfriend is quite tidy. He is very punctual, he is very critical. I am easy going and laid back. My boyfriend was first brought up in residential care home from being 7 years old and then went into the territorial army from 4 years. He says this life suited him because he could handle the institutionalised environment.At home my mum allowed me to be laid back. I am now very sensitive to criticism and am getting angrer and more resentful. I like being me, I don’t mind him being him. He is always saying I should change. I can’t because I then feel I am loosing my own identity.When we don’t agree on something he will say ‘I said do it’ If I refuse to do it his way he will start to call me horrible names. Like fat cow, fat b**tard etc. I will say ‘No I am not’ each time he calls me a name and then I will end up in tears.He never apologises, it is always me who leads us back to intimacy. I end up doing something nice and then he responds. The point is in a couple of weeks we are supposed to be buying a house together but I don’t if this is the right thing to do.I do love my boyfriend and I want my daughter to have a stable home but how can I sort this out. PLEASE HELP.