Dearest Dr. Love,I must thank you with all my heart for your precious help and for the concern you have for all those who need advice. I always read your column and I truly think that every single advice you give is brilliant and very helpful. Thank you kindly.I hope you can help me with this problem I’ve had probably ever since I was in my mother ‘s womb! It’s about my very low self-esteem. . . It kills me to notice how low it is, and it saddens me every time I have negative thoughts about myself and every time I look with disgust at myself, or everytime I remind myself of how ridiculous and imperfect I am.I think it’s so unfair and so shallow of me to think that because I am chubby I am not worthy of love and admiration. I am currently seeing someone and we are sexually active, but every time he looks at me, I feel so terrible and I am so very afraid that he is looking at every inch of fat, every unattractive spot on my body, on my face. . . It makes me feel so unconfortable. . .We make love in the dark, and I keep my shirt on. Sure he tells me that I have a pretty face, and I believe him, but when it comes to my body, I am so insecure. It has come to the point where I will seriously think about breaking up with him because I am convinced that he isn’t attracted to me, that he’s simply using me. And I will think to myself how ridiculous and stupid I am to believe that he might like me and enjoy the person I am.Also, it really doesn’t help to have parents and relatives who tell me to lose weight every single time they see me. . . and it doesn’t help to have a twin sister who is 60 pounds lighter than me (she has an eating-disorder). When I leave the house and I am in public, I always feel self-conscious and unconfortable, convinced that everyone is judging me. So much of my energy is spent focusing on this.When I do decide to start a diet program, I become obsessed and stop eating altogether. Obviously I have issues, and I have lots of anger toward my parents. . . my father for hurting me all my life and making my childhood a truly living hell, and my mother for never protecting me from him.Is it possible that I can find one day a man who will truly love for all that I am and for what I look like? I guess the real question is, will I let a man love me the way I am? Will I ever accept myself fully and acknowledge that I am a special and precious human lady?Please Dr. Love, if it possible for you to help me with this problem, I would be eternally grateful. I am truly desperate. . . Be well and have a nice autumn season.