My boyfriend and I are in 10 months of relationship but we don’t get a chance to date like any other couples. The reason is that I have very strict parents and they don’t let me go out with anyone. When we were in 3 months, I dated once with him without being caught by my parents(taking risks). After that, we didn’t see each other anymore. He has been asking me to try to encourage my parents and I have tried a million times but it didn’t work. His friends’ couples are posting their “dating photos” on social media and he is very depressed by that. And I also have too much pressure on me when he asks me to tell my parents. Why can’t he understand my situation? My parents are very strict and they still think I’m a kid even now I’m 18. At the start of the relationship, he really cares about me and don’t do anything that make me mad or cry. But now, I think he’s losing feelings cus even if I’m crying in front of him, he didn’t seem to care. Even I’m explaining why I’m mad at him or what he has done make me mad, he just said “Why r u always complaining abt things? What’s wrong with you?” and walks away (upset)without comforting me or apologizing(I have to apologize after that). I admit that I’m a really sensitive person that cry over very little details but that’s because I love him! I’m being clingy cus I’m in love! And the other thing is.. he stops posting me on his social media. Whenever his friends ask him why he stops, he answers “Becus we can’t date.” ?? I mean.. is that really matter when we’re in love? that dating thing is?? And that’s really upset me because if I were him, it’s not that big problem for me as long as we’re in love. We still have a chance to meet in the future even if I don’t know when!
He makes me the happiest person in the world most of the time but I still have bad days that I cried all night in the bed. Is he losing feelings on me? Am I the only one who is putting much effort? Should I end this relationship?
*He also has childhood truama..his parents are divorced and he’s living with his grandma.
It sounds like you’re saying you’re in a relationship but you’re not dating, meaning you are not able to see each other in person, apart from the first sneak date.
This is s a very painful situation.
I understand that he is becoming less supportive of you when you cry because he, himself, is very frustrated by the situation. He also sounds very young and impatient.
At what age are your parents willing to let you date?
If you can get an actual number out of your parents, perhaps you could give him something to look forward to.
I would also encourage you to focus on understanding his feelings and not put the burden on him to have to carry your feelings on top of his own.
To do this you could say, “I know how difficult and frustrating our situation is. I love you so much and don’t want to lose you. I would like to brainstorm with you on what we could do to influence my parents to allow me to date you.”
Is there any way he could appeal to your parents in person?
If he were to tell them how much he cares for you, and how serious his intentions are, they might feel better about allowing you to date. This kind of move is very old fashioned for sure, but your parents are old fashioned and I think his making this appeal will win your parents over.
Please let me know how your discussions with him and your parents go.