hi. . i am a 16 year old girl and i have an imbarrising question when me and my boyfriend have sex i do not have an orgasm at al he has to rub on the upper part of my private part in order for me to have one and then i have to some times picture women haveing forceful sex what does this mean?? i am not a lesbian or anything am i??? and why am i not having orgasms during sex. . . please help me!!!
First of all, almost half of all women never have orgasms during intercourse, so rest assured you are not abnormal in this regard. It is also normal that you achieve orgasms when your boyfriend rubs on the ‘upper part of your private part.’The technical word for the part of your body that he is rubbing is your clitoris. Some researchers actually believe orgasms achieved during intercourse are actually clitoral orgasms that result from the clitoris being stimulated by penile thrusting.Some ways to improve your chances of orgasming during intercourse include stimulating your clitoris until you are about to climax, and then begin intercourse only after you reach this high level of arousal. Another way of increasing the likelihood of orgasming during intercourse is to add manual stimulation to the mix.As for your last question regarding your fantasies. It is normal to experience all kinds of fantasies during sex. In fact, people often fantasize about acts that they actually wouldn’t want to engage in in real life, either because the acts might be physically dangerous or threatening to a monogamous relationship. But, it must be said also that fantasies often express deep wishes.The fact that you are worried about your lesbian fantasies needs to be examined more fully. First, you need to know that all humans have bisexual urges. And, just because you have these urges doesn’t mean that you must act them out. Many men and women allow simply discharge their urges through fantasy, and leave it at that.If however, you feel that the urge to sleep with women is very strong. Or if your urges interfere with your relationship with your boyfriend, then it would be good to talk with a therapist and clarify your sexual orientation.I hope this answer helps.