I met this guy at a church retreat when I was 15, he was 20. We fell head-over-heals for each other, but both decided that we would date when I was 18, realizing the age diffrence was too much. He respected me, never trying to gain anything sexual- he wasn’t using me.He was in college on the other end of the state and gradually started to pull away from me and his friends he left behind when he joined a student union. We talked every once in a while over the years, and he would drive two hours out of the way to see me but claimed he realized I wasn’t his type.I’m 18 now and he still asks to go hang out, but when I call him to finalize the plans, he either doesn’t respond or claims he’s to busy. Can you please explain what’s going on because I have no clue what is going through his mind?
This guy fell for you when he was twenty and you were fifteen. You both decided to wait until you were eighteen in order to date each other. That meant that he had to wait until he was twenty three.A lot changes in a young man (or woman’s) life in the three years between twenty and twenty three. Among other things, he says that he realized that you weren’t his type. He says that he wants to hang out, but doesn’t respond to your calls or says he’s busy.I am sorry to say that it sounds like he is sending you various nonverbal signals that he isn’t interested in being involved. One thing is sure. You are more interested and invested in a connection with him than he is with you.You deserve to be with someone who values and cherishes you. If he can’t treat you this way, then move on. It is always possible that he will find you more appealing if you aren’t so hungry for him.To convey that you aren’t desperate, the next time he calls and asks to hang out, be vague and noncommital. Tell him that you aren’t sure that you’ll be free. Let him chase you down to firm up the plans, not the other way around.If he isn’t willing to chase you and put in some effort, then forget him. Chasing after him is too degrading to you and damaging to your self-esteem.