There’s a guy that’s just come back into my life. Known him since i was 14 or so, apparently i was his first love and according to him i am his favorite (whatever that means). He has told me he likes me and thinks i’m amazing, beautiful, all that kinda stuff. He lives about a 9 hour drive away from me and flys down to where i live frequently.
We had been mainly chatting online and via text for some time – about 4 months, i was pretty sure of where i stood with him and how he viewed me (romantically)by what he said in these online/text convos. He asked me a few times if i was interested in going up to visit him. Personally i preferred him to come here. Had phone calls as well. There was flirtation at all times, more on his part than mine, i am more reserved.
Finally he came into town (hadn’t been happening, for no particular reason), and we arranged to meet up. I went to his place (i was fine with that as i already know him). I was there about 5 hours, we had no problems keeping the convo going, all good. On arriving there, he gave me the biggest longest hug, and on leaving same again – the type where you have your full body pressed against someone, arms around my waist slowly moving up and down my back. Once outside (waiting for cab), same kinda hug again, and he kissed me a couple of times, not full on french kissing but nice prolonged closed mouth kisses (defo not how you’d kiss friends normally), and asked when he could/would see me again and that he hoped it would be soon. Exchanged a couple of texts during the week, but he didn’t ask me out, i wondered if that was something i should worry about but eventually just asked him via text if he wanted to get together soon again to which he said yes and we sorted out a date and time, talked to him on the phone a couple days after that before 2nd date, a little flirtation, he said he’d see me next week (2nd date).
Went over for 2nd date(?), he seemed super happy to see me and on arrival same long full body contact hugs, arms tight around my waist, squeezing, and a couple of kisses on the mouth whilst embracing. Dinner was good and again, about 5 hours or so, no issues with convo. He did make some odd comment about how i’d meet a friend of his he was telling me about, “if i decided i wanted to hang around”. Wtf does that even mean? My response was that it depended on if he let me, to which his reply was Yes, i like you. A friend of mine thought it might be a gauging comment. I have no idea how to interpret it
Eventually he asked how we would be getting me home and that was the end of the date. Goodbye was the same as the last time, long hug and some kisses. He also makes some odd little noise when hugging me – happiness sound, i dunno. Some random comment about how we should/could do this regularly, followed by a comment about getting the neighbors’ talking, seeing him kissing a blonde girl (me) on his doorstep. Odd but people say weird shit, i know i did – “see you on the dance floor or sooner” was my awesome parting line. DOH!
It’s been 4 days and i haven’t heard from him, am i obsessing over nothing? Should i be concerned? It’s not entirely unusual that 2-3 days go by without us texting each other and to be fair, i haven’t contacted him either. It didn’t really concern me before but now it does because i actually like him, and i’m getting in my head over things. The rhythm of our text/online communication for the most part is the same, it may have slowed a little and become slightly less flirtatious since meeting IRL but i put that down to no longer just having online/text comms.
He is extremely busy, and also has mentioned feeling overwhelmed with no chance to rest, plus co-parents (he has his young son fri – Sun).
Wow, this last remark about his being your doctor threw me for a loop. What does that mean? He lives 9 hours away and he’s your doctor? What kind of doctor is he? Your shrink? Or a medical specialist?
There are professional rules regarding dual-relationships, and having personal relationship with a patient is a problem for a doctor.
Regarding where you stand with him, I must say that I didn’t get a clear sense that you like the man. The comment see you on the dance floor sounded very casual.
You also said in passing that you’re reserved. I bet he doesn’t have a clue that you really do like him. I’ve spoken and written a lot over the years about men needing a lot of Green Lights in order to make their move. If a woman doesn’t give clear signals, most guys hang back. It’s clear that this guy cares for you. He’s told you so.
Now, it’s your move. Instead of asking how he feels about you—which we already know—tell the guy up front how you feel about him, and you’ll be seeing and hearing a lot more from him.
