Okay Dr. Love here’s the deal. I have been with this guy for 5 years. I have 4 children from a previous marriage. I consider mysself to be a smart, friendly person. I mean I have alot of friends. I love my kids and my Lord.But I find myself struggling in this relationship. We started dating 5 years ago. He was so sweet, I thought then too sweet. I tried to break up with him in the beginning. . . because he was too nice. That scared me. my ex was abusive. Well then he cried and brought me a rose, so I gave him another chance.About a year later I tried to break up with him and he came up to my job with blood all over him. He had carved my name in his leg with a razor in my car! ! I was scared and thought good ridens, but everyone at work said that he only did that because he was hurting so bad inside and that he didn’t know how to express his feelings.So guess what i gave him another chance. Stupid? I felt like I could try to make it work. I can’t say that I have ever been Happy in this relationship. Only Okay. We were recently married because I couldn’t go on living with him and not being married I want my kids to see whats really right and he wasn’t going to leave. So I just married him.I know that I am never going to be Happy with him because I don’t think he CAN change. Do some people just live together and never really be in Love. See I always wanted to love to kiss and Love to make Love. . . I hate it all right now, I don’t even hold his hand. I ask him if it bothers him he says, yes. But he never does anything about it.He is a slob, lazy hasn’t worked in 4 years (worker’s comp) but he refuses to clean the house or have any of the responsiblity in running the house but I work 40+ hours and he justs sits in his chair watching tv. He has gained upwards of 100 pounds in those 4 years.I think that I might have had some kind of love for him once. But I know that I only tolerate him now and barely. I wish he would just be kind and leave. But he won’t, because he is selfish and he might hurt himself if I make him leave. Would that be my fault, I mean I let him stay all this time and if he hurt himself I would feel guilty.I already have 4 kids I didn’t need a 5th. I needed a man not a selfish boy. How can I end this. See, before my ex he hit me. . . it was easier because I had to leave for my safety. . . this time I am not the one who needs to leave. . . and this time its for my sanity. .he should leave. . . Right? If he loves me like he says he does then he would leave. . . because he refuses to even do a little better. . . I am so depressed. . I feel lost. . . I can’t be lost I have 4 babies to lead through this world! !Please just tell me how to do this thing that I dread! ! What if he hurts himself? He says he would rather be dead than to be alone. Should I be miserable because he threatens that? Its just not even fair.All I want is to be happy. I do deserve that you know.Please Advise,Wendy the Lost