I like this girl alot because she’s talented, beautiful, friendly and intellegent but my problem is every time that we are together, I always run out of words. I can’t talk to her directly and I can’t think of some topic she’s interested in?Now there’s another problem we had misunderstanding. How can I talk to her again? How can I court her? And how can I have a good connection to her?
You are to be commended. Asking all these questions shows just how open you are to learning how to be a good partner. If you were to ask this girl the same questions that you asked me, you would be showing her just how much you care about her and how much you want to be responsive.Let’s go over your questions to me and translate them into questions to her. The first question, how can you find a topic that she’s interested in, can only be answered by her. You can’t be expected to be a psychic and guess what interests her. That’s the beauty of asking questions. By doing so, you convey your interest in her, which will draw her to you.You could say, ‘I want to know you better. Tell me about you and your interests. ‘ When she clues you in, then ask even more questions about her areas of interest. The second question you asked was how to deal with the misunderstanding. Again, use questions. Tell her that the misunderstanding that you had was the result precisely of your not understanding her well enough.Ask her to explain what went wrong from her point of view. Repeat back what you hear her say, to make sure that you have understood her. Feeling truly heard and understood resolves most conflicts.How can you court her? Again, we are drawn to people who show interest in us and who have positive feelings toward us. Taking the time to know her by asking interested questions, listening, and understanding her shows that you are interested.To make sure she really knows how much you like her, tell her what you told me is so appealing to you about her. Follow all the open suggestions and you will be in your way. Let me know what happens with her.
