Dear Dr. Love:I have been married for almost 3 years now and my wife and I dated for 3 before that. Needless to say, my problem with my marriage is sex.I am 28 and she is 31. For the whole time I have known her, she has been VERY sexually inhibited. I have, admittedly, pressured her to try to relax and enjoy the many pleasures of sex. However, now I have found us in such a rut, I don’t think we can ever recover.The reason I am writing is to ask you whether you think it might be time for me to move on. We literally have sex 1 to 2 times per month (for 3 years since marriage), usually once. During the week my wife is ALWAYS too tired to have sex. During the weekend, she often mysteriously suffers from sudden stomach aches, cramps, sore limbs, headaches, emotional distress and just pure high-strung anger at me to get out of sex.I am afforded a break from these distractions merely 1-2 times per month, and then we have begrudging, quick, unenjoyable sex. I am VERY, VERY attracted to my wife, and I tell her how sexy she is to me and why, very often. The response to this and all other of my advances is basically one of: ‘you just want sex (pervert). ‘Yes, I do. I want to make love to my wife. I am sooooo frustrated, because she literally is a touch freak, and I cant even hug her sometimes without a snappy return. I don’t want to make her out to be the complete heavy, she says she is trying. But, I can’t see any future for our sex life.I want a vibrant, oral, positioning, fun, experimentative sex life, and she wants a soap opera man. I have quite literally tried to be romantic and suave to give her that (as I can understand her point of view). I never get any reaction.Then she says I need a better approach to asking for sex, which we talked about, but every time I try, she sees me coming a mile off, and shoots me down (very coldly) before I even get out of the gate. I tried for a long time to be extra attentive toward her needs (walking more with her, calling her work to say I love her, listening to her work bitches more attentively) all of which had no effect.I am a good husband, damnit, I do the dishes every night, and all the outside work (she does her own flowers) and cook when I beat her home. I don’t think she has it too rough, we both make a good living, live in a nice neighborhood, and have a secure life. I can’t see any reason why we can’t have a good sex life, or a sex life PERIOD!When we talk about it, as we do often, she agrees that she needs to lighten up, and work harder to at least make the sex more often. However, the next day, we’re right back in that rut again and I have to wait another 3 weeks for sex. I have really been questioning whether to just leave her. I want to, to be honest, because I know deep in my heart, that it’ll never get better.I’d LOVE for her to change, and everything to work great, but I know now, after 3 years of the same, it’ll never happen. She’s been promising for 3 years. We didn’t even have sex on our honeymoon nor 2 weeks after (OK, granted, I got drunk at the reception but is that such a HUGE deal?)Anyway, I’d opt to see a counselor, but I think only after several thousand dollars and years of therapy would that be any help, due to my wife’s inability to stick to a regimen she doesn’t like. The reason I’m thinking so hard about leaving her is that we don’t have any kids (and I dont want to until our sex life is on the money – no she doesn’t know this), I’m still young 28, and there are other problems in our relationship that kinda make me want to leave her also.To be honest, though, if the sex were there, I could deal with the rest pretty easily. I am VERY frustrated, as I said before. I want her so bad sometimes, to kiss her and make love to her and she’s very unreceptive to that. I am extremely resentful, too, which is childish, I know.I find myself almost looking for an affair, which I absolutely hate. It goes against the safe, secure, life I’ve always wanted. I am like most men, I see sexual time ticking away, and feel that I am wasting it with her.The last piece of information is my own fault. Yes, I did know how she was before we got married, except we had sex about 1 per week then, and she totally agreed with my sexual philosophy about enjoying life in the bedroom and having that deep intimacy together. She also promised before we got married that she’d be more attentive to that once we were husband and wife (always a romantic idea with her). I love her, but I can’t stand not being able to be with her. Can you help?Signed:VERY lonely husband looking to get out