Dear Dr. Love:I am a 26 year old computer tech. my wife left me two months ago. I felt i would spend the rest of my life with her the first time I passed her at a job she was appling for. we moved in together and never wanted to leave each others side because we where close. after four years of this we got married.One day my mother told me she found videos of my stepfather having sex with another man. she was devestated so i was her only comfort. This and overtime at my job burnt me out and then my stepfather found out he was hiv possitive and i totaly broke down. my wife lost her job and i lost mine. we had to move in to the parents house to survive. we finaly got a trailer and movesd accross the street from my mother.My wife was deppressed so i tried everthing to help her and i got more depressed. we loved each other so we wrote letters to show our love. my unemployment ran out and i tried to find work. she then applied and got unemployment for starting school. she started getting a ride from this 37 year old and one day, we made love the night before, she kissed me goodbye as always. at 4:00 i called my voice mail and she had left amessage telling me to get something from the cars glovebox. it said she wanted a divorse. we have been together for eight years and now nothing?she came by and we spent the day together a few times and had a great time. we even talked at the park and agreed to give it another try after getting out of baypoint. the next time i saw her she told me she wanted to start seeing other people and wanted to file papers. I love her more than anything and I know she loves me also. she fell out of love with living close to me mother. I am stuck and hurt every day and i don’t know how to get her back. what should i do?? I don’t have a phone number to call her and i don’t want to live without her.signed, Trapped in a Nightmare
What a series of tragedies you’ve suffered. Financial, emotional, and now this rejection. You asked how you can get your wife back. You said you don’t have her number, I assume you could get a letter to her. So, let’s write her a letter, all right? In that letter, you need to ask her to please explain why she wants to end the relationship. Tell her that if she can’t tell you in person or by phone, to please write back to you. Tell her to be honest and to not hold back. Ask her what went wrong for her in the marriage. Ask her how you let her down.Then, I would tell her that she will never find another man who is as willing as you are to devote yourself to making her happy. Whatever it is that she needs from you and the relationship, tell her that you want to find a way to make this happen for her, because you love her and don’t want to live without her (only say these things if you really mean them).When you get a response (I think you will) please let me know what she says isn’t working for her in the relationship, and then we will put our heads together and tackle these issues. So, write to her and let me know her response. Good luck. We’ll do everything we can to get her back.