Dear Dr. Love,I have been going out this my boyfriend for over a year and a half. I do love him with all of my heart. I am in my second year of college. I moved away from him to I could attend the college that I have always wanted to. But since I have moved away, I have found someone else that I also want to be with.The long distance relationship is really taking it’s toll on me and I don’t know what to do about this situation. My boyfriend knows that I am friends with this other guy but he doesn’t know that I want to be with him. I have only been in two relationships and I feel that I need to have some more experiences before I decide to get married. I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend that I need sometime to figure things out and decide what would be best for me. Can you help me at all?Totally Lost
You asked me to help you find the right words to tell your boyfriend that you need some time. But, in your letter to me, you expressed your wish for some breathing room so beautifully that it I don’t think that you need help on ‘how to tell ‘your boyfriend about your need for space.I think that your perceived ‘block ‘for the right words covers a deeper conflict: I don’t think you’re 100% sure that you want to tell your boyfriend that you need time out. What might be holding you back? Are you are afraid to hurt him? Are you afraid that your boyfriend may be Mr. Right and that, if you discover that you are correct after having taken a time out, he may not be willing to take you back?Try to put your finger on your emotional pulse and identify what the real conflict is. Once you do, it will be easier for you to move forward and make the right choice for you. Good luck. If you are still stuck, contact me again.