Dear Dr. LoveHELP! I ‘m afraid that my relationship with my boyfriend is taking a wrong turn. I think our relationship is based too much on sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sex part of our relationship, but it’s getting to be too much. We have sex so often it’s like the weather channel at our house. My boyfriend is so smart, I can become easily intimidated by him. Sometimes I wonder if he only loves me for our mind shattering orgasms. I mean, we have sex on the stairs, in the hall, on the table, EVERYWHERE!Shouldn’t there be more to our relationship? I don’t want to give up the sex, but, I want more from him than his body. (Gorgeous as it may be. ) Too much.
Unlike men who do have a refractory period (the time it takes to reload before they’re ready to fire again), it is assumed that women do not experience a refractory period. This is why women can experience an additional orgasm, or multiple orgasms, soon after the first.On the other hand, some sources state women may also experience a period after orgasm in which further sexual stimulationdoes not produce excitement. And, there are many women who experience clitoral hypersensitivity after orgasm, which effectively creates a refractory period. The point is while these women may be capable of more orgasms the pain involved in getting off again makes them put the project off!I’m thinking that there’s another cause for your girlfriend’s difficulties. There is a link between elevated estrogen and diminished desire. Progesterone naturally decreases production during perimenopause; this can result in an estrogendominance, which effectively causes low libido in women.Even young women are now experiencing estrogen dominance (and lowered sex drive) as a result of the pollutants in our environment. These â€œxenoestrogensâ€ actually release estrogen-like compounds that mess with both men and women’s sex drives and performance.If you want to know more about this, listen to my radio show: Are Your Hormones Making You Moan, but Not in a Good Way for a full discussion of what she can do to lower her exposure and flush out any excess estrogen.Right now I suggest that she start eating cruciferous vegetables (like cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts and arugula). She should also take a supplement call DIM, which is a broccoli derivative that assists in estrogen metabolism.I’m confident that when her estrogen levels drop, her drive and orgasms will be on the rise.Let me know how this goes for you.