Dear Dr. Love:I am in a very sticky situation. . . I’m in love with a very insecure, jealous and suspicious man. We’ve been together for the better part of one year. In that year, I have been away from him a total of two nights, that ‘s not much if you ask me.When we got together, he found me ‘too independent’ and ‘to much in control’ of the relationship. So I removed ‘the pants’ and put on a nice, frilly apron-so to speak, and consequently live through the most horrific months in my life. I gave up my own apartment, to move into his tiny, stuffy room. I gave up my car, only to be told when and where I could use his. I gave up my job because there were’too many guys asking me out there’ only to be picked on as not contributing to the relationship. He asked me to become more dependent, and then tortured me for doing it.Now, I have moved back into my own place, I’m working again and saving up for my own car as well as secured transportation to and from work without having to beg to use his car (which he promised he’d give me for selling mine).He has backed out on every committment he’s made of any importance, and if he realizes this, he’s a very talented actor, because he seems to be clueless to the fact. He’ll call me names and ‘break up’ with me, only to call me two hours later ‘hey baby, whatcha doin?’I’ve become numb to his name calling and ‘fake breaks (as I call them)’ to a degree that it doesn’t hurt, shock or surprise me any more. It does however, put a real damper on my normally happy-skippy disposition. I know this is all based upon fear of abandonment in him, and self hatred of and fear of abandonment in him, but I can’t stand it. He doesn’t even trust me enough to let me go to the bathroom without saying ‘whatcha doin, babe?’One night, four months ago, (after his NINTH ‘fake break’) I went to my home town (80 miles away from where I lived with him) to be with people who love me, trust me and don’t call me names. I was gone all night. One of the friends is a male. He has not just accused me of, but convicted me of cheating on him ever since – that ‘s where the names came from, I won’t bore you with those!Anyway, now I need my space. I’ve taken it, and it’s time to enforce those boundries. He doesn’t like it, but when I say ‘lump it’ he talks suicide. I know he needs professional help, but I’m not a professional. How can I say’tough, that’s life’ with tough love? How can I get my self respect back, and find some for him?Signed…”Too many problems to know which one to write about…”