Hello Dr. Love Please just read this e-mail and help me out cause you are my last option. Im a kid ok and I have no money to pay you but I need advice real bad.It’s this fetish i have, Im an 18 year old who is absolutly infatuated and turned on by older women from 30-45. I don’t know what to do or where i can locate older women on the internet that are into younger guys. I constantly think about my friends mothers in bed with me. people that i have told this to just think Im desperit, but Im not i have no attraction to women my own age.Please Im begging you to respond to this.
You have begged me for a response, and so I’m answering you. Since I am not a matchmaker, I assume that you aren’t asking me how you can find older women. I’ll leave the hunt to you.Your other question, ‘I don’t know what to do’ isn’t quite clear to me. Are you asking me to help you understand this ‘fetish?’ That I can do.So, let’s start with that. You know that it is normal to feel attraction to family members, and that includes brother, sisters, mothers and fathers. As I’ve explained in other columns, society would be ripped apart if people actually acted our their incestuous urges, hence the creation of the incest taboo.The problem with any taboo is that it causes natural feelings to go underground, leading to all kinds of neurosis. What is far healthier is for people to own all their feelings, and choose which ones they want to act on, and which ones they don’t want to act on. Exactly what is going on with you?The natural attraction that you felt and feel for your own mother has gone underground, and your unconscious mind has redirected the urge (technically called displacement) onto mother substitutes, such as your friend’s mothers. Now, what can you do with this information? Would you feel comfortable owning your attraction to your mother?If you can accept this, then you may find that you don’t need to find substitutes for her. In other words, the quest for mother substitutes, is a way of releasing the urge for your own mother.Once you accept the true feelings inside yourself, there’s a good chance that you will feel liberated from the compulsion to find mother substitutes. When you feel at peace with your feelings for your mom, you may find that you are also attracted to women your own age.In other words, when the psyche is too caught up in discharging feelings that are beneath the surface (such as a feeling of attraction to mother) no energy is available for any other kind of relationship.So, let’s see how you do with this information. If after getting in touch with yourself, you still feel that you want older women, that ‘s fine too. You need to be happy and comfortable in your own skin. That’s all that counts.
