Please help me to at least have a chance at getting my head together: I am a 45 yr old man (divorced 10 yrs) and the love of my life is a 50 yr old woman–she is married & has been for 21 years.We have been together and intimate for 6 years (prior to that we worked in the same department of our firm for 8 years and this is how we grew so close). It started out innocently enough: small talk in the mornings; extended lunch breaks because we obviously liked each other’s company; then a declaration by her–about 7 years ago–that she was ‘re-evaluating’ her then 15-year marriage (seems they quit being lovers and became more like roommates).After her declaration, we started talking on the phone during the evenings & leaving each other notes in the other’s mailbox at work. She repeatedly told me how much she was attracted to the fact that I was a ‘free spirit,’ and I admitted to her that I was VERY attracted to her as a woman & that I simply felt close/centered/warm (choose your cliche) when I was near her.As you can suppose, we fell in love (please don’t tell me it wasn’t/isn’t real because this hurts too much to be a bi-product of some neurosis) and for many years I was quite happy. I told her–just once & for the record–that IF she decided to leave her husband I wanted it to be because she could no longer stay married. . .I didn’t want her to leave under some imagined pressure from me, and I never did pressure her to leave–I just wanted her to keep spending loving/happy times with me. And that bring me to my problem: While she still claims–with words only these days–that I am still the love of her life, she won’t budge: her marriage remains the EXACT SAME as it was 7 years ago, but what’s worse now is that something always ‘comes up’ so we can never see each other like we used to.She says that it is always just a coincidence, but I know that she is–in some way–pulling back. What has me completely screwed up is this: 1) She says that she loves me, but she can’t seem to find time to be with me anymore; 2) When I try to talk about how lonely/left out I feel, she says that I am over-reacting; 3) Just when I feel like there is no hope for ‘us’ and I resolve to figure out how to live without her, she yanks me back with some mind-bending passion; 4) I know I have to leave this unbalanced, one-sided affair but I don’t know how.How can I leave AND get myself together when the desire to be with her is as strong today as it was when we first started exchanging office laughs years & years ago? I will do the best that I can regarding any advice that you give me, but please be compassionate: I am hurting SO much these days and I am in such a constant state of melancholy that I don’t even know myself–I am no fun to be around and this seems to hinder my broader social skills.I am not suicidal. I am truly depressed, though, and I am so screwed up right now that I feel the only cure for me is to be in her arms–pretty messed up, huh? (FYI: I believe that I have always had my share of abandonment issues to deal with.) How can I begin to get my head together? Thanks for listening