My boyfriend and I have been dating each other for 2 going on 3 years. We have been living together for 5 months. He doesn’t do what he did to get me anymore, in other words, he had that ‘honeymoon syndrome.’I love him very much, but he doesn’t make love to me like he used to because of his job keeping him tired all the time. There is no foreplay. My sex drive has come down when it used to be so high, now it only kicks in if I watch some type of porno movie or if he does one certain thing.He never ever had to do just one certain thing to get me ready, but now he does. I do tell him that we need foreplay, but he seems not to listen because he still rolls over and gets his pleasure and doesn’t seem to care if I get mine.Please tell me what should I do?
You ask what you should do. Before you do a thing, you need to first understand that you are rewarding your husband for not giving you foreplay. How?By allowing him to have intercourse with you despite the fact that he hasn’t first given you foreplay. The message you are sending him is, ‘That’s all right. I can go without. And, don’t worry, I will still give you what you want (intercourse), even if I don’t get what I want.’Without realizing it, you are making your own bed and lying in it (no pun intended). Rule of thumb. It is not wise to reward someone who is not treating you the way you expect. Not unless you want to feel used, abused and basically like a human doormat.So, from here on in you need to tell him that if he’s too tired for foreplay, then he’s too tired for intercourse. Then, tell him when he feels that he has enough energy to prepare you properly, that he can let you know.Until then, you won’t be having any more intercourse. When he realizes that he isn’t going to get ‘his’ until you get yours, watch how his foreplay skills improve.