Hi there,I bet this question isn’t exactly ‘new’ to you people – but I really want to get a girlfriend. I have always been the shy type therefore women often keep their distance from me. However, for the past two years, I’ve had my eyes on this special girl – but I could never get myself to ask her out, or tell her how much I feel about her.We often have conversations over the phone, and keep in touch using E-Mails, but even then I can’t express how much I feel about her . . . she think’s I’m very funny and extremely talented, but that ‘s about it – how do I discuss my intimate feelings about her. I must say, I’m totally crazy about her, I keep thinking about her everyday — I even masturbate by holding up a small portrait of her. How do I know if she’s got the same intimate feelings about ME ???Now, I’m in the United States, and she’s in Great Britain . . . and I only get to see her just once a month. Please tell me what I should do ???
I know you’re shy. Read through my hyperlinks to past columns, in which I discuss, at length how to overcome shyness. In your case, I sense that you are so afraid to be rejected that you are hanging back rather than taking the bull by the horns. Here’s the deal. A woman sends out signals, and these signals are designed to reassure the man that she likes that it’s safe to move closer. Your problem, I think, is that you aren’t recognizing the signals that are being sent.Your lack of confidence and fear of rejection is blinding you from seeing reality. This girl is giving you every green light. She is telling you how she admires you (green light) she keeps talking and writing to you (two other green lights. ) This girl likes you so much, she doesn’t quit. I’m sure that she is shy and wondering herself why you aren’t taking the bait. I bet she’s even thinking that you don’t like her.So, bite the bullet. Tell her how you feel about her. What do you have to lose? At the worst, you will still have a friend, which you have now. And, at the best, you will be able to make love to her instead of her picture. Promise me that you will take a chance. You sound like a doll. And, obviously, she thinks you’re worth waiting for, but let’s get on with it before she shrivels up and I retire. Let me know what happens.