My girlfriend of almost five months and I have had some ups and downs. However the downs are constantly derived from the same source. Her strong sexual being and the things she does online.She was talking all sexual like (really hard core) to random guys and a few times girls on the internet. This has gone on for 5 years now and I have finally put it down on the table to make her stop. Also she had put posting about her life on websites (nothing sexual) and guys talked to her and left vulger comments and she answered them with similar replies.As far as I know I have gotten her to stop all the internet stuff except recently I found out that she has been watching porn on the internet. She said that she was watching it everyday since she can last remember which in my mind all of that combined is just way over the edge especially since her and I are having sex on average three times a week.And in bed she acts what I call ‘dick hungry’ and she just wants to give me oral all the time and have sex constantly. She always wants me to come inside of her regardless of what she is doing the rest of the day.Even though her and I have had many talks and arguments about this sore subject she still seems to seek sexual attention outside of our relationship. This bothers me and it is jeopardizing us.She refuses to see the possibilities and consequences of her actions. She thinks that the way she dresses, and what she does online is ‘no big deal.’ I think it all was started from her early child hood.Lord forgive me for saying this but she was molested by her uncle when she was 12, but there was no sex involved it was him touching her and now she is a prostitute. Anyways I don’t know what to tell her anymore and what I can do to make her stop this, because I love her and I care about her and how she is hurting herself.Please give me any advice you have thank you for your time.
I’m afraid there isn’t much you can do. Your girlfriend doesn’t think she has a problem and she isn’t asking for help. Yes, she does, indeed have a problem, but no amount of nagging or begging on your part is going to make her see her problem.Your girlfriend’s problem is this: She never got in touch with how she feels about having been molested. Instead of feeling the feelings, talking about them and working them through, instead she acts the feelings out. Her behavior is a symptom of what is called sexualized aggression.In other words, instead of saying, ‘I hate my uncle,’ she uses her sexuality like a club and tortures and taunts men with her sexual power. You are one of her many casualties. Unless she’s willing to stop acting out and start talking, there is no hope for her to change and no hope for your relationship.
