Dear Dr. Love,Ok ok ok, this has got to be the dumbest question you have ever gotten, but either way, I’m asking it. I am a guy and have been pretty uninvolved in anything sexually related. But recently me and my girl have been getting more intimate.I dont know very much at all about stuff along these lines of sex. I’m still a virgin, but me and my girl have been experimenting with hand jobs and fingering.My question is, why have I not ejaculated during her giving me a hand job? I have not yet had a full ejaculation during her giving me a hand job and I seriously want to know why not.Please help, I’m affraid something is wrong with me physically, or perhaps since were both new, she is doing it wrong.IM DUMB, either way, please help!
First of all there is no such thing as a dumb question, so stop being so hard on yourself. I also see that it must be hard for you–no pun intended–to ask me this question! I’m being lighthearted and making a joke because I think that you need to lighten up with yourself.I know that sex is new for you and that you’re scared. Believe it or not, being scared is enough to prevent your body from being able to ejaculate.First thing you need to do is to masturbate on your own. Relax and enjoy the sensations. I am sure that you will ejaculate when you relax. Then when you’ve got the skill down, take your show on the road so you can relax and enjoy sex with your girlfriend.Above all, don’t become a sexual spectator. Spectatorism occurs when you are almost outside your body watching yourself perform. Watching yourself is the opposite of being in the experience.Just allow yourself to become part of the experience and feel your sensations. Don’t focus on having an orgasm, just enjoy your sensations and and the rest will come and I do mean that literally. I expect a full report in the morning!