I recently lost my husband of 3 months. We where together for 3 and a half years before we were married. He was killed in an accident with his job. I am only 17 years old he was 20.I have been having sex with a friend of mine and we’ve both fallen for each other. I’m not sure though if I have really fallen for him or if I just like him because of my loss.I am really lonely and confused. No one understands me because I’m not just a 17 year old kid I have a 15 month old son and real problems, not just ‘ kid’ stuff.Can you help me sort through this problem of mine?
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My goodness you do have a lot on your plate. Being widowed is hard enough at any age, but to be widowed with a young child is a double whammy. My heart goes out to you.It is true that a person cannot make any clear decisions about life and love when the mind is clouded by grief. It is said that a person needs to wait at least six months in order to be clear-headed enough to enter a new relationship.It sounds like you may be using this new relationship like a salve, to soothe and numb you from the horrible pain that you must be feeling. Realize that sooner or later you will need to deal with your feelings. They can’t remain undercover forever.So, my advice to you would be to begin talking to someone about your feelings of loss. As you begin to address your loss head on, you will then be able to determine whether the man you are currently with is someone who you really love or whether he is merely helping you avoid the grieving process.