You say you have second thoughts about his truthfulness. You need to trust your own inner wisdom. Ask yourself why you feel that he’s isn’t being forthright with you.Oftentimes, we will have the sense that someone isn’t being honest with us when, in fact, the real issue is that he isn’t being honest with himself, not because he’s intentionally lying, but because he, himself, isn’t clear about his own unconscious dynamics and motives. You asked me what could be the possible motives for him to pursue you at this point in his life, given that he intends to stay in his marriage.The possibilities are vast. Here are the top two possibilities that spring to mind. He could have an attachment to his wife that is similar to the attachment that one feels for a parent who is emotionally or physically disabled or damaged. In such cases, there is a sense of loyalty, of having to stand by the weak parent.The second possibility is that he is trying to work something out with his wife, who reminds him of a parent with whom he had difficulties.The inability to leave the wife may spring from an unwillingness to give up the chance to heal the wound that he suffered as a child.We can speculate till the cows come home about his possible motives. But where are you in this equation? Why are you still so attached to him? Who does he represent from your formative years? What wound are you hoping heal by being with him?I think you will find it most helpful to focus back on yourself and away from him. I’d be glad to hear what you come up with.Above all, be careful and look before you leap back into his arms. Be very clear about your own unconscious motives and fantasies before taking action.
