Dearest Dr. T,I hope you are in good health and that you are doing well in every single aspect of your life. A compassionate person like you deserves only the best in the whole world. You are truly one of a kind, please don’t ever change!I have some questions to ask you and I really hope you can answer them. . . I have noticed that I have such a hard time accepting myself as I am. Not only physically, but also psychologically and my personally too. . .People often tell me that I am too sensitive and that I should train my heart to be’tougher ‘. I am often told that I am very naive, that I should go out more and meet new friends. . .I am currently dating a married man whom I see only about once a week or even less; and I always find myself making up exciting stories (lies) about how and where and with who I spent my day. I feel like I might sound boring to him if I told him the truth which is that I curled up in bed with a romance novel.I’ve always felt different than everyone, less-normal than them. . . I truly don’t seem to accept myself and I find it sad because I know that deep down I am a person with a good heart.Also, there is something else I’d like to ask you, Dr. T. . . This married man that I’m with now, is confusing the hell out of me. . . He’s made it clear that he won’t leave his wife because of the kids and I’m ok with that (also I’m only 22 and he’s 46, so I don’t really think it could ever work out to fully commit to him). I’m not sure how he truly feels about me. . .He says that he likes me very much yet he only calls once a week and he comes over so rarely. . . And if I dare mention how neglected I feel, he will say that this is all the time he can afford to give me. I don’t want to give him the joy of knowing that I desperately love him and miss him, when he doesn’t seem to care about me as much.When we make love, I feel how much he cares about me, but then he will leave my appartment and I will feel so terribly sad and even a little used. . . I don’t know what to think anymore or what to do. . . A few days ago, I took out a pad of paper and a pen and I was about to begin writing good-bye letters to the people I love. . . I was ready to take away my own life. Suicidal thoughts seem to be frequently happening recently. . .I am struggling financially and my parents are unavailable to help me, exams and midterms are also coming up, and my depression seems to be getting worse, inspite of the medication. A doctor mentioned to me that he feels like I’m not allowing or giving myself permission to be happy. . . I think he’s right but it was so embarassing to hear a handsome doctor tell me that. . .I thought about it, and truly, there is a feeling of guilt inside me at the thought of being happy while the rest of my sisters, brother and mother are still suffering at the hand of my disturbed father. . .Please help. . . If there is anything you can help me with, any advice is greatly and critically needed. . . Everything is blurry for me right now. . . I hope my letter did not disturb you. . . I’m sorry if it did. . . I’m embarassed about my sad situation, but it is the sad reality.Be well.