The ride’s tearing me apart and I don’t know how to get off; I don’t want to get off. Help!I’m 36 years old and have admitted commitment issues. I consider myself very attrative, in good physical shape, and have a succesfull career. I’ve had a lot of wonderful women come into my life and none of them were ‘the one. ‘I could use any excuse why, they just weren’t.One year ago I met the women of my dreams. The relation- ship was long distance. We established a wonderful friendship over the phone for two months that led to many romantic trips where we would both meet in the middle.She was everything I had dreamed of, a successful indenpendent, 31 year old women. Someone that didn’t ‘need’ me. It was magical.Three months into this, outside my better judgement, I told her I was falling in love with her. I was sure she felt the same. All of her actions were clear to me that she felt the same–wrong! Or, so she says.I was devestated, I cried (probably a mistake. ) She said so wanted no commitment. Damn, I’d met myself. No commitments. The relationship continued. Even became more intense but, the tempo of the relationship was also controlled by her and it was only good out of town.If I came to her house she turned into a cold, distant person. I felt so unwanted. We continued the trips where we would meet in the middle and everthing was wonderful. Until she droped the bomb that she still had feelings for another man who lived 3 states away finishing a degree.He would come visit during breaks. She told me about him because she felt she was cheating on me somehow, even though we had no commitment. She told me he was very religious and they had never held hands, kissed, let alone had sex but there was something about him, an intrigue she couldn’t break.She said they had very little in common but she had great respect for him. She even said she really didn’t like a lot of things about him. I couldn’t handle it. I wanted her just to go away. ‘If this is the guy you want why aren’t you calling him!’I told her. Her response: ‘he’s not available to me. ‘I questioned her intrigue about this guy and she admitted she goes for guys that don’t want her, even addmitted that she had never had a real conversation with her father until she was out of college at age 24.I questioned her about us.She said ‘everythings wonderful, but somethings missing.Anyway, the relationship is over.For months our relationship has been a festering sore waiting to scabe over. And it finally ended when the guy she was hanging onto to told her she should go on with her life because he was moving away after finishing his degree.My questions now are:1. Why did she become so distant when I was in her house even though I was invited.2. I love this women, but I know the game, because I’ve played it all my life. When something’s gone, I want it back desperately. I refuse to contact her but I know for a fact she’ll be calling because I’v done it to every women I’ve pushed away, I wanted them back. What do I say that day not to push her away and to make her feel safe?3. Why did we end when ‘the other guy’bailed on her?4. And, is there any hope for either one of us allowing someone to love us?