I am in a relationship see-saw! I am currently dating a girl who i have been with for a year and half now. I am 17 years old. I know you’re probably thinking im crazy but I am in love with this girl. I am a romantic, and i believe in love.Here is my dilemma: My girlfriend and i have been arguing a lot recently due to my jealousy and me not feeling that she is there for me at times. She says she loves me and deep down i know it is sincere. But it is hard for me to have a relationship when i feel she isn’t there for me, and that she doesn’ try hard enough to spend time with me.I love this girl more than anything in the world and i cant seem to find a solution. Help me please and answer my prayers! what should i do? How can i fix it? Should we be together?Thank you for your time!
I hear how distressed you are. When I read your letter, I kept hearing how great your need is. You said twice that she isn’t there for you, and I had the sense that you are looking for her to fill a deep void inside yourself.We humans expect relationships to be a salve for the wounds that they we suffered as kids. I get the sense that your parents weren’t there for you when you were younger, which would lead you to expect her to fill in the gap.The problem is that we can’t expect our life partners to make up for our childhood deficits. These wounds need to be healed in therapy. You also need to see that the more needy you are, the more crowded she’s going to feel, which will cause her to run for air, which will make you more demanding, which will make her run more, and so on.As you can see, this cycle will result in your getting less and less from her. The only way out of this bind is for you to start talking about this emptiness inside you.
