Hi , I am 24 years old women from a conservative country where sex is a taboo currently in a relationship since 6 years . Few years back when our relationship was of 2 years I was moving out of my hometown to some other far place for further studies so my boyfriend told me to have sex because he was insecure if I go away with him I would leave him but I consoled him that I love him and I would never ever do that but he was constantly asking me and said I go without sex he would leave the relationship but I went to college Without doing it there he use to talk to me rudely and angrily but did not leave me on the other hand just he was angry and upset I agreed to have intimate relationship after returning from college in next few months I came back during holidays and we did it . But today after 4 years it is haunting me all of a sudden and I feel bad though he didn’t leave me and says he will marry me but I feel bad that maybe he didn’t loved me or he was just into sex I feel disturbed and depressed please help me out.
If I understand, four years after having given in and having sex with your boyfriend you suddenly feel haunted. You worry that he didn’t love you and fear that he just wanted to have sex. He says he will marry you, but, for me, the elephant in the room is why hasn’t he married you. It’s four years since you had sex. What is he waiting for?
Have you spoken to him about this? And asked him what his thoughts are regarding when he wants to marry?
I don’t think you would be feeling disturbed and depressed if he was giving you the right feeling. If he reminded you often that he loves you and plans to marry you when X, Y or X happens.
Is he waiting to finish higher education? To have a job?You need to talk to him. Write me back when you get more information.
Many feelings fester in the darkness of silence of inadequate information.
Hang in there.