Dear team,

Its our love cum arrange marriage my husband is working in tricity and we live there.

Now My inlaws home is far away around 100km earlier before marriage my husband shared that we will go sometimes but now he is taking me two times in a month and he is searching for permanent work from home job so that he will live there as here he used to take all groceries, pay rent ( I used to work earlier but now I am homemaker ). He wants that his all money will save and no body will say him to bring any items from market or to do any household work.

My in – laws are very different from my parents. Earlier they told my parents that you need not to give any Furniture as both are working so they will make their own.

My husband is so mingy that he founded fully furnished home for rent in tricity so that whenever he will get opportunity for permanent work from home he will run away and doesn’t need to carry any item. I want he should become independent. Now Everytime when I go there sometimes I have to live there for 10 days or more.

During Covid he was at home for 2 years before marriage and at that time his whole money saves or invest.

First of all my room is not seperate they gave me 32 years old bed,  bedsheets, dressing table and there is no almirah in whole house.

House is big but they don’t know how to maintain it , there is no cleaning on floors as well as on bathrooms.

She is not ready to give money to maids

My MIL used to cook food in 32 years old utensils which gave my her mother on her marriage. Everyone there doesn’t want to update even my husband also

Even sofa is so hard now in this house how can I spend my rest of my life or how can I say my future or my children’s future is safe.

I am curious if I will plan for baby who will care me there is lot of dust in their home my MIL doesn’t cook properly I don’t know the reason may be due to eyesight problem but in our 1 year of marriage whenever I visited there I came back with serious stomach infection

Now if i share these things with my husband he thinks that I am finding faults in their parents but this is not true I genuinely respect and care for them but nothing is important for me rather than my health .

I cannot take medicines everytime I visits there.

My father in law is very old and most of the time took very stale vegetables from Grocery store and they all are very mingy. They want all things should be cheap.

My husband should help him but he used to sleep and eat a lot during our visit there.

They have taken two properties for his younger son in last one year but why they are not maintaining this home

I cannot survive there, i feel so suffocating. Please help me what to do ?

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Simi1278 Selected answer as best December 15, 2022