Its our love cum arrange marriage my husband is working in tricity and we live there.
Now My inlaws home is far away around 100km earlier before marriage my husband shared that we will go sometimes but now he is taking me two times in a month and he is searching for permanent work from home job so that he will live there as here he used to take all groceries, pay rent ( I used to work earlier but now I am homemaker ). He wants that his all money will save and no body will say him to bring any items from market or to do any household work.
My in – laws are very different from my parents. Earlier they told my parents that you need not to give any Furniture as both are working so they will make their own.
My husband is so mingy that he founded fully furnished home for rent in tricity so that whenever he will get opportunity for permanent work from home he will run away and doesn’t need to carry any item. I want he should become independent. Now Everytime when I go there sometimes I have to live there for 10 days or more.
During Covid he was at home for 2 years before marriage and at that time his whole money saves or invest.
First of all my room is not seperate they gave me 32 years old bed, bedsheets, dressing table and there is no almirah in whole house.
House is big but they don’t know how to maintain it , there is no cleaning on floors as well as on bathrooms.
She is not ready to give money to maids
My MIL used to cook food in 32 years old utensils which gave my her mother on her marriage. Everyone there doesn’t want to update even my husband also
Even sofa is so hard now in this house how can I spend my rest of my life or how can I say my future or my children’s future is safe.
I am curious if I will plan for baby who will care me there is lot of dust in their home my MIL doesn’t cook properly I don’t know the reason may be due to eyesight problem but in our 1 year of marriage whenever I visited there I came back with serious stomach infection
Now if i share these things with my husband he thinks that I am finding faults in their parents but this is not true I genuinely respect and care for them but nothing is important for me rather than my health .
I cannot take medicines everytime I visits there.
My father in law is very old and most of the time took very stale vegetables from Grocery store and they all are very mingy. They want all things should be cheap.
My husband should help him but he used to sleep and eat a lot during our visit there.
They have taken two properties for his younger son in last one year but why they are not maintaining this home
I cannot survive there, i feel so suffocating. Please help me what to do ?
First of all, there is no “team” who answers questions. It is I, Dr. Jamie Turndorf, who answers each question I receive personally.
I am having difficulty understanding your question due to the broken English. Is there any way that you can have someone help you to edit the question so that it clearer?
I suggest you simplify the question so that you state the problem in a simple paragraph and then ask me your question(s).
Keep in mind that the clearer you are in expressing your issue to me, the better you will be able to communicate what is troubling you when you speak with your husband.
Thanks for the further details. I suggest we do a one-time session so that we can speak further. The issues are too complicated to handle in writing.
Thanks for trying to clarify. The issues are so complex that I cannot do your issues justice in writing. If you wish me to help you solve the problems, please schedule a private session with me and I will help you.
Hello Dr. Jamie Turndorf,
Sorry for the inconvenience caused! Actually my English is not so good.
Here my point is my in – laws are very different from my family they are not even bother about home cleaning, kitchen food as well as utensils hygiene, bathroom cleaning etc.
My whole family income includes my husband income is around 40 lakhs but we live seperately in tri-city due to his job.
My first point here is that my In – laws refused to take any Furniture/ household items during our marriage from my parents.
Now they have not even taken any item themselves . Everytime I visit there I used to sleep 32 years old bed, mattress and as well as using old small hight dressing table.
There is no almirah in whole house, it’s a very big house around 2406 square feet, but they don’t know how to maintain it from inside.
My father in law retirement is near so my husband thinks that whatever money comes he will buy almirah, dressing table , dining table etc.
He is not ready to spend any of his money rather than he has eye on their father’s money.
I asked my MIL, that there should be atleast one cupboard in our home she replied me that younger son marriage is still pending we cannot afford these expenses then why you refused my parents at that time ?
Seriously there is no vibe in my room . It’s like suffocating. Everytime i have to keep my clothes inu suitcase . My MIL said that we will bring one small cupboard to you. Seriously!
Actually I don’t want to go there permanently my husband is fond of his hometown he doesn’t want to be responsible and independent.
Second point is my MIL cooks multiple dishes in same utensils and doesn’t wash it properly. She used to give everyone stale food which is 2-3 days old and doesn’t wash vegetables and fruits properly. Sometimes insects are moving in the food and they all eat because they have developed immunity but whenever I came back i developed stomach pain from there house since last one year.
I am worried what will happen to me in pregnancy I don’t want to go there .
There is no seperate room, clean floor, clean washroom, clean utensils and hygienic food and the whole family is so mingy