Please helpI have been married for twenty three years. I have the best husband. But latley whenever i talk about getting away for the weekend he always says maybe we can do something kinky, this just blows my mind.He visited Holland and they have live sex shows. Now he wonts 3-way and he even talks about animal shows he say. This makes me sick. What can i do its so gross.We live close to New Orleans and don’t get me wrong i love New Orleans. But i gets pretty wild girls takeing tops off in the middle of street. I just made 40 and this just does not help. He did not use to stop when this happened but now its like he stands their with his mouth open. Its not right.What can i do ? Is their any help for me. I was brought with my grandmother and you can gess how this just blows my mind. My mother says if you don’t take care of your man someone else will, But mom has no idea of these kind of things. I will try new things but not this no way. What can i do. Or what am i doing wrong?????PLEASE HELP OVER 40 IN LOUISIANA
You are awfully quick to assume that you are doing something wrong. Why point the finger at yourself? Maybe we need to ask what’s wrong with your husband!From the sound of your letter, your husband was satisfied sexually until recently. In other words, what you were doing worked for him. Then, suddenly, his kinky requests began. The question we need to ask is: Why now? What is happening for him personally that would cause him to make such an abrupt shift? Has anything changed in the relationship? Has anything changed in his life or his work?My first thought was that your husband might be having a mid-life crisis. He may be feeling that he has reached as far as he can in his career and may sense that a decline is ahead. A frantic search for new and varied sex could be a way of hanging on to his youth. After all, young men do experiment sexually.The only way you are going to find out what’s up with him (no pun intended) is to talk to him. Ask him why he thinks these new needs have cropped up. Ask whatever you can think that applies. When he starts to talk you will get a better idea of his issue.By all means resist the temptation to blame yourself. Focus on him during the discussion. Ask him what’s missing in his life, his work and his sexual relationship with you. And, then, based upon his answers you will know what needs to be done.If you find out that he needs more sexual variety within the marriage, perhaps you can find ways to introduce variety in a form that you can stomach. By the way, I had the impression that the type of sex that he was asking for was so over the top (with animals) that I wondered if he was trying to torture you.He must know how upset and offended you are. And, I would also be asking him if he wants to offend you. Ask also how he wants you to interpret his requests. How does he want you to feel about them.These questions will flesh him out in the event that he is suggesting sex with animals to get your goat (again, no pun intended). Good luck.
