I believe my girlfriend of 2 years may have severe narcissistic traits or may have NPD. Unrelated to the suspicions of her having NPD. It is very difficult for her to have an orgasim…takes forever if she can at all…..the other night we were making love for a while, at least an hour if not longer. I had an orgasim and she stands up and says to me. You were just a couple of pumps away from making me orgasim. I replied, really?!?!..damn, so close but so far. To which she replies, closer than anyone else……this bothered me and a little while later no more than a couple hours later, I brought up what she had said by saying, Something that was said earlier is really bothering me and I would like to talk about it. She asks me what it was and I tell her what she said and she immediately tells me that is not what was said or even when it was said tells me I can’t remember things properly because I don’t pay attention, have a terrible memory that there must be something wrong with me because what she tried to tell me was said was….she wants to be closer to me than anyone else and we were still making love when she said it according to her…..I stood my ground and went moment by moment what was said, when it was said and what was happening or had happened as it was said…again I am told how flawed me and my memory are etc etc….I then say that what bothers me about her saying closer than anyone else implies there are other people and I am just the closest one to making her orgasim and then I point out the fact of she didn’t say closer than anyone else has been or even closer than anyone I’ve been with in the past……she then gets very very angry starts talking down to me, calling me names, and telling me she’s just wasting her breath, love, spirit, so on and so forth on and with me…tells me to look up on google what closer than anyone else means in a relationship then storms out of the room vanishes to wherever she vanishes to (this kind of thing happens regularly about varying topics…almost daily) shows back up 10-15 minutes later acts like nothing happened, looks at me and says, I love you so very much. You could never know how much I love you. Then proceeds to ignore me the rest of the night until she goes to sleep hugging her cat and a pillow.

Am I wrong for thinking her comment implies there are other people, is that what it implies and why do these type of situations happen constantly almost daily about almost anything I say.


I would just like to add that what she says about me, how I don’t pay attention , can’t remember things properly, have a terrible memory, are all false. She calls me names on a daily basis..stupid, dumb, says I’m nothing but a B***h, tries to insult me or me being a man however she can. I need to man up, I cry about everything, she gets physical as well, hitting, punching,kicking, she has tried to dig her fingers into my eyes more than once, and has even caused nerve damage in my left hand that has left my pinky finger numb which has severely limited my guitar playing. I’ve been playing guitar for 27 years roughly….now I can’t play a lot of what I used to be able to play….and I have not once raised my hand back at her…I have wanted to so very badly, I’m just thankful that I am the man that I am and made a vow to myself long ago that I would never raise my hand to a woman in anger. My father was lifetime network movie abusive or worse toward my mother, my older sister and brother af myself. Physically, sexually and emotionally. But going what I went through showed me how not to be toward people and in my relationships. I have many scars, can’t and won’t deny that. But I made peace with what I went through long ago and let go of the negative emotions i carried that weighed me down so heavily and was able to forgive my father and was able to tell him that I forgave him a couple years before he died. My older brother died at 25 and took his last breath in my arms I was 19 almost 20 at the time, my father died in 2013 I think it was…my mother died in 2017…my older sister doesn’t speak to most of the family and my younger brother has spent more time incarcerated in jail and prison more than he has a free individual and I have no contact with him either….it’s been one heck of a ride thus far but I will ride this out till the wheels fall off. My apologies that this was so long and I thank you for taking the time to read it. I appreciate you and what you do and have done for many many people. I will keep you up to date on how things go after reading your book(s).

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Dr Jamie Turndorf Posted new comment December 15, 2022

I have started reading your book kiss your fights goodbye. A about half way through chapter 4. Got the ebook version from a library. Will let you know how it helps. Hoping my girlfriend will read it when I finish it.