Dear Desperate Dan:Here’s the deal. Before you take a trip south, you buy travel books and maps, right? Same thing needs to happen before you travel south on your girlfriend. You need to get a mapping of her anatomy.First stop is her clitoris. If you have been stimulating her with your hand, then you have some idea of the type of contact she likes. Some women find that direct stimulation of the clitoris is great. Others like you to take the bypass, meaning don’t touch the clitoris directly, but stimulate near it.Some like pressure, others like gentle pinching or stroking. Bottom line, if I may say, is that you need to stop guessing and start talking. Ask her for feedback on what she likes. Ask her to demonstrate by touching herself. Ask her to guide you when you are actually going down on her. Let her guide your mouth, hands, lips, etc.Remember, even the most experienced men need to modify their technique from partner to partner. So, don’t let feelings of inadequacy stall you. Let her educate you on the best route to follow.In the process, you will strengthen your bond as well as forge open lines of communication, which will help you face the inevitable bumps in the road that occur in all relationships.
