My girlfriend of 10 months thinks that I’m using her to escape from my house. I don’t have a bad home life but I have expressed to her how much I don’t like being at home.Latly we’ve been spending alot of time together and when I’m not with her I’m with my friends. Sometimes she will call me there and I will talk to her but most of the time I make it quick. When I do this she feels like shes being put off because I’m with my friends. I don’t know if this is what I am doing to her or not. I love her alot and I tell her this all the time.She lost her father 2 years ago. Could this have anything to do with the way she is feeling??? Please help me.
Let’s start with your girlfriend’s reality. If she feels used, then you need to find out what you are doing or saying that is giving her that feeling.Even if her history is causing a distorted or magnified reaction to you, there is still something that you are doing that is hurting her. To find out what this is ask her, ‘What am I doing that makes you feel used?’I have a feeling that the quick phone call may be the problem. She may be feeling that you are putting others ahead of her. Remember, women need to feel like they are your number one interest. Otherwise, they feel rejected, unwanted, second-classed and even used.Perhaps she’s trying to tell you that she thinks you are only using her for a place to go when you want to escape your family. And when you choose to hang out with friends instead of her, she must figure that you are happier with your friends. When she calls you, I think she is looking for reassurances that you care about her and want her. When you get off quickly, she feels that she doesn’t count for you, other than for the home away from home that she offers. Ask her the above question, then truly listen to her answer. She will tell you what you are doing that makes her feel unwanted. Be responsive to her feelings and you should be able to work this out.
