Dear Dr. LoveWhen using a shower massage as a foreplay devise, my girlfriend will experience orgasms which are so intense that she will sometimes develop an intense headache.The first time this happened the headache lasted throughout the weekend. We have talked abut this and I have tried to help her learn to relax as orgasm approaches, with some moderate success but the ache still is a worry.She is also one of the women who is lucky enough to experience what we have heard labled as ‘female ejaculation’, both with the shower massage and other sources of stimulation.This brings up sort of a multi part question.What causes the headache and how can it be relieved or prevented?Also, why do women who experience this ejaculation feel that their physiological responce to these stimulations is ‘disgusting’?Is this physical ability connected to the headache situation?
How very perceptive of you to make the link between your girlfriend’s headache and her feeling that her ejaculations are disgusting. It does sound like she is repulsed by, or at the very least conflicted about, her sexuality. And, as you suspected, strong emotions definitely can trigger headaches.The question is what can you do about it? You can tell her that you notice that she is repulsed by her ejaculations and ask her if she knows why. If she is open, she should be able to link her current feelings to her history. Was she molested when she was younger? Did someone make her feel that sex was dirty?If you can get her to trace her feeling back to its origin, you will be on a healing roll. Once she makes the link to the past, then your job is to help to reprogram her head and detoxify her heart. Tell her things like: Your body is beautiful. I love it when you ejaculate. You’re so sexy. You might also tell her that a female ejaculation is made up of water (the water portion of the blood).If she doesn’t come around (no pun intended) from your talks alone, then therapy would be in order.Just as an aside, it has been reported that some people experience headaches when they orgasm. These headaches can be traced to vascular (blood vessels) constriction. Feverfew herb normalizes blood vessel tone and can be helpful. If the headaches are due to muscular tension, then relaxation techniques, meditation or self-hypnosis can help. Natural muscles relaxants (kava kava or valerian) may also help.See my Wellness Dictionary for more information on this. Good luck.