Dear Dr. L.I feel as though I have a problem. I’m a 23 year old male, in love with a woman who is 30. Age to me does not matter, nor does it to her.However, my problem relates to sex. It is almost impossible for her to get ‘off’ before I do. I was wondering how I can actually keep my erection longer so that she can?I’ve asked friends, and they keep telling me to change positions, most of the time that doesn’t even work. I’d rather not take any medication to keep it ‘up’ because then I might have a problem when I’m at work <grin.I’ve tried other things, like pleasure rings and other things, but I’m always out done by a vibrating machine.
Yoursis a mechanical question: How can you stayhard through to the finish line–hers.In order to achieve your goal, you will need to try varioustechniques. Some consist of trainingyourself to wait longer and others consist of arousing her more fully beforeyou begin intercourse, and/or stimulating her clitoris during intercourse, soas to improve the chances that climaxes before you do.Let’s start with you. To learn to prolong your erections search myAdvice Archives, in which I thorough explain the Stop-Start and the Squeezetechniques. The Stop-Start techniqueconsists of masturbating until you feel close to orgasm (not to the point of noreturn). When you reach this point,stop all stimulation until your excitement settles down. Then, begin stimulation again. Repeat the cycle until you can’t take it anylonger. With practice, you will learnto delay more and more.The secondtechnique consists of masturbating until you feel close to orgasm, only thistime you will squeeze just below the head of the penis, which also serves tosettle your excitement down. Then, whenyou are under control, start stimulation again, repeating the above cycle untilyou can’t wait any longer. Withpractice, this technique will also help you to delay your own orgasm.Try both techniques and see which one worksbest for you.Now, as for yourgirlfriend. The two ways to improve herchances of obtaining an orgasm in intercourse are: first, increase the foreplay so that she is close to orgasmbefore you begin intercourse. Thesecond method consists of stimulating her clitoris during intercourse in orderto heighten her arousal and improve the chances that she will achieve orgasm,or help her achieve orgasm more quickly.Remember that 50% of all women never achieve orgasms duringintercourse. So, that when all is saidand done, if you guys don’t make her get off during intercourse, that’s allright too. Good luck.