to get my story to make sense i need to tell you from A- Z so here it goes. my boy friend and i met when i was 18 at a gym. we started the relationship a month after meeting for 3 times. i understand the fact that we rush things without being friends first especially when clearly i wasnt over my ex.
to get my story to make sense i need to tell you from A- Z so here it goes. my boy friend and i met when i was 18 at a gym. we started the relationship a month after meeting for 3 times. i understand the fact that we rush things without being friends first especially when clearly i wasnt over my ex. i got excited because i believed that he was the one because he appeared just after i broke up with my ex.. theres no word to explain but yeah i was pretty moved by his actions. after days of being together, my ex came to me and wanted me back. to be honest i didnt think twice when i said okay. i was blinded and one thing lead to another. my boyfriend warned me about him. (he didnt know i was with my ex while i was with him) after a few months things got uglier he found out about the affair and a few months later i found out he was actually with someone from the start (as in he was someones boy friend when he asked me to be his.) it was a no doubt the worst day of my life. ive caught him cheating alot. i did the same too. i know for a fact that my affair was worse but the thing that made me angry is the he never knew how im hurt too because of his affair. he said that i knew from the beginning you were never serious so i did that as a revenge. once he said that its because he pity her, which is it. we will never know. we tried to go our separate ways, our longest was 3months but we just cant live without each other.. its been 3years since all the cheating and everything now we’re fine but we just cant trust each other. i tried but i just cant cause i realised hes never been honest with me but as for me, im 100% faithful. he hit me, he spit on me, he slapped me, he kicked me (i did too.. its a total love hate situation) i am very close to be insane i wanted to break up but he never allow it, no matter how much i tried. i checked on the internet if im depressed & what worries me is that i have all the symptoms of a depressed person, him too. so im scared. i dont know what to do?. dont tell me we should break up cause its never gonna work.
It’s not my place to tell you what to do.You say that you worry that you are depressed.How could you not be depressed? You are a human punching bag, and a prisoner in your own emotional jail. I’m the jailor who can set you free. The key to your freedom is understanding. First, I want you to see that you and your boyfriend are actually mirror images of each other. You both were unfaithful to each other from the start. You both are unable to trust. You’re both abusive.Your relationship consists of your taking turns torturing each other with infidelity, physical abuse and mistrust. Just so you know, breaking up won’t solve the problem. The problem will haunt you both wherever you go and no matter who you’re with.I want you to also know that it’s no accident that you chose each other and that you choose to stay with each other. If you want your life to change, you need to understand why. I’m betting that you are both filled with rage toward your parents. And you both represent the other’s hated parent, and you take turns beating up on the parent, and then doing penance for your bad behavior by taking a punishment. No wonder you can’t let each other go. You both have unfinished business with your parents, and you aren’t done paying them back. If you want to get passed this prison, read my book Kiss Your Fights Goodbye. The book will help you identify the Old Scars that you each carry from childhood. Next, it will show you how to heal the Scars with each other’s help.To do this, you need to make a commitment to TALK about your feelings, your hurt, your fear, your sadness, and so, on without going into action. By action I mean cheating, verbal attacks, physical attacks. No action.If you commit to this no action policy, your feelings will then be able to be put into words. Once they’re in words, the healing can begin. When you speak, you are to listen and understand each other. Doing so is the way to help each other heal the pain.If you cannot commit to this plan, your relationship will be a war zone and nothing more.I’ve given you the blueprint for healing your depression and your relationship.Let me know how you make out.