Dear Dr. Love,I am a 17 year old student. I have always had bad relationships therefore I get scared to open up to my boyfriends and I would try to push them away so I wouldn’t get hurt again. Well, I finally ran across this great guy, and I did that to him. Although he was patient, it really did damage to our relationship. Several times we have broken up, and each time, I realized that I had been pushing him way. I would try to change, but I would always go back to ‘my old ways’ because I never really thought that I would lose him.We were together on off for almost a year and a half (we broke up three times once for a week, then for a couple of weeks, and now this time. ) I do love him very much. This last time we broke up I kept trying to hold on to him, but his friends gave him an ultimatum, either them or me. He says he wants everyone to be happy and if he choses one then the other gets upset, so he doesn’t know what to do.When we are alone I know that he loves me I can tell by the tone in his voice, and the look in his eyes. I keep changing my mind whether or not to hold on to him, I just want him to be happy, but he doesn’t even know what to do anymore. We started to spend time together this summer, and he ended up canceling plans less than a week ago because his grandfather was taken to the hospital. He told me he would do ‘whatever he had to to make it up to me. ‘ Since then he hasn’t called me.The day after he canceled plans, I called him to see how everything was and we talked two different times that day, the last time we talked was at 6 in the evening and he had to call me later due to company that he had. Since then he hasn’t called me and I have left my phone line open just for him, and that was 5 days ago. I don’t know whether to keep hope or to let go. Whenever I decide to let go something happens, and I realize that I love him to much to just let go of him. I really don’t know what I should do anymore, please help me.I am getting tired of crying myself to sleep at nights (For the past couple months I have done this), crying to almost every song that comes on the radio, and just crying for no reason at all. I really feel as though I need him, but I don’t have a clue on what I should do. I don’t know if I should follow my heart, and hold on to him and the possibility that we can work things out like he has asked me to do since we broke up, or if I should let go like my mind says to do. Please, I am begging for your help.Lost and desperate for something to stop the tears and pain.