Hi-I don’t know if you will be able to help me but i split up with my ex girlfriend 8 months ago. . well she dumped me. . I want her back. . She wont take me back. . . Any advice I would really appreciate, ThanksI was with my exg irlfriend for 4 years. . . We started dating in May 1999. . . Now in May 2003 Rachel went on a family holiday for 2 weeks and while she was away I went on a work night out and got so drunk that I kissed a girl. . Now this lasted about 5-10 seconds. . . Anyway I felt so guilty. .So when Rachel ( my ex girlfriend) returned home the following week I confessed that we should break up without giving her any reasons. . she was very very upset and wanted to know why . . I told her I had met somebody else ( I hadn’t but felt so guilty) , I will never know why I told her that I met somebody else. . All it was was a drunken kiss. . .She was devastated. . . she rang her dad and he collected her. . . Over the next coming weeks . . I would text/message her asking could we talk. . but would never get a reply. . Now what I did next was stupid. . I was getting drunk every night and sending Rachel rude messages. . . . and would ring her every saturday night for 3 weeks at 3am. . . ( we used do this before when we were together. . we would ring each other after niteclub to see how we were)Rachel changed her phone number. . The 1st time that i saw rachel was 4 weeks after we split up. . she asked me to meet up with her. . and she returned some of my things. . . Over the next 4-5 months I would send her letters every weeks asking her to give me a 2nd chance, begging, pleading. . . I would text her sister as well. . .My friends told me to move on and that rachel said that she will get the law involved if i send her more letters. . . What did i do. ? I sent more letters. . . I went to Chicago on holidays for 2 weeks in october with my parents. . . ( me and rachel had talked about moving to chicago for a couple of years). . . Well I brought her home a lot of presents. . . When I came home I texted her sister to see can she arrange us meeting up. . We met up the following week which would have been the weekend of our 4. 5 year anniversary. . .She didn’t want to accept the gifts as ‘ I would get the wrong idea ‘. . . She took them anyway but repeated that we wont be getting back together. . . Before Xmas I sent her an xmas card and a few more letters. . . I found out that she has moved out of home. . .So I cant contact her now. . don’t know where she lives and I don’t have her phone number. . . . I met her new years eve in pub. . I approached her. . she didn’t want to talk at first. . but I said my bit. . she was holding her friends hand for support and when I mentioned the incident of kissing another girl. she started crying so I walked away. .I gave up alcohol on xmas day as that was what caused all of this to happen. . sometimes when drunk i would criticize rachel on her weight and lack of makeup. . but I was drunk. . i never meant to say these things. . . Now I have given up alcohol and Im emailing a counsellor every day. . and she is helping me be a better person. . .4 weeks ago i met rachel in a pub. . I approached her and she said ‘ hi’ . . It was my 1st time seeing her since the end of the year. . . I said maybe we can talk in a few weeks or months. . she just shrugged.i asked her how she was, how was work going. . . etcThe following week I met her in a pub. . we have mutual friends. . I saw her and i turned to jelly. . she still has that effect on me. . Anyway I didn’t want to go over to her as didn’t know what the reaction would be. . . But went to the bar and when i came back my brother was talking to rachel and her sister. . . so I decided to go over too. . .She said ‘ Hi ‘. I said hello and said maybe we can talk in a few weeks. . I can show you my new tattoo’. she started to laugh. . . Now it was like old times. . she hadn’t smiled or laughed at me in a long time. . . Now I started every piece of conversation. . everything was going well until the topic of getting back together was brought up. . .she said we will never be getting back together. . I said ‘ maybe in the future’ , she said ‘ Never’. . . she said I don’t deserve a 2nd chance. I asked her was she happy being single and meeting different guys every weekend. . she said she was happy. . . . . . I said take care and walked away. . that was 2 weeks ago. .Now I know I was stupid. . Alcohol was a big factor involved. . I have given up alcohol now and am seeing a counsellor. . . Rachel knows about this. . Now Im not a violent or abusive boyfriend. . i never raised a hand to rachel but when drunk as said before I would comment on her weight. . the thing is though she was not heavy. . I don’t know why . . . . but I have given up alcohol now. . . . better late than never. . .Now some of my friends are saying to leave her alone and to move on. . while others are saying give her time and she will come back. . . I don’t think there is a guy in her life at the moment. . but Im not sure. . We were solid though me and rachel. . In fact our last month together ( May 2003 ) was probably our best. .Rachel lived 150 miles away from me , so we would only see each other at weekends. . . so may 2003. . it was my cousins wedding, me and rachels 4 year anniversary, and rachels 23rd birthday. . So we saw a lot of each other. . Im 100% responsible for the breakup of our relationship. . But telling me I don’t deserve a 2nd chance , in my opinion is harsh. . .I have seen Rachel maybe 6-7 times in the 8 months that we have split up. . We used to talk 3-4 times a day. . . . . Rachel was to move home in July 2003 and we were to move in together. . . We used to talk about marriage and babies. . . She is ‘ The One’ . . I really think she is. . I don’t know what to do. .She says that eventually we will be friends but nothing more. . . But she wanted to marry me. . . 12 months ago. . my brother got engaged and rachel was happy but jealous too as we were going out a year longer than my brother and his girlfriend. . also 12 months ago rachel thought she was pregnant with my child. . when she found out that she wasn’t she was upset ( we both love kids, rachel works in a creche)Im sorry for such a long email but Its 8 months since we split and things aren’t looking great so you guys are my last hope. . Also just wondering if you think its too late for a reconciliation. Its 8 months since we split. but we were in love for 4 years. . I still am in love with her. . I cant get her out of my head.I would really appreciate any advice or tips Thanks for your time