I am a 22 year old lesbian and have been in a relationship for 3 months now. I met my gf online. Just giving it a try and we clicked from the start.This is love at first sight. She lives 4 hours from me, and is a professional working at a firm. We’re both college educated, as well, a very intellegent woman.I truly feel I have met my life partner. We make sure we see each other every weekend. We talk at least twice a day on the phone. I love this woman very much. We talk about the future, every time we spend together, about us moving in together, sharing things, and developing a family togther.I’m concerned about her asking me these questions like, ‘ Do you miss me?’ or her bringing up stories about her ex who she was deeply in love with 5 years ago and it seems to me that she can’t let go. I tell her I’m not going anywhere and that I’m not that EX! And reassuring her that I will always be here and love her deeply. She thinks that I’m one day going to just throw in the towel and leave this relationship!How do I get it through to her that I’m staying right here and not going to ever leave her! She can be sensitive and insecure sometimes. I don’t feel I tell her enough how beautiful she is sometimes, and I know she is waiting to hear this, but I show rather than speaking.I feel like our relationship at times has reached the plateau of being overly comfortable with one another? Is that possible that you can be too comfortable with your partner? We both give and take equally.
Your girlfriend is afraid of being abandoned by you. Her ex-girlfriend dropped her and she’s afraid you’re going to do the same. I know you think that she’d feel less insecure if you told her more often how beautiful she is.While it is very important to say, in words, how much we love our family, partners, and friends, and I think it is an excellent idea for you to do this more, it still will not help your poor girlfriend. The poor woman is scared to death of being dropped and no amount of compliments is going to change that.The real issue here is that your girlfriend hasn’t gotten over being dropped five years ago. The reason she hasn’t gotten over the loss is because that abandonment awakened an even older abandonment wound inside her. Somebody in her childhood dumped her and left her for dead.Since we humans tend to recreate patterns that are familiar because: 1) we’re creatures of habit and familiar pain is more comfortable than the unknown; 2) we replay our early wounds in order to heal them. Therefore, I think that she chose her last girlfriend because she knew on some level that she would dump her.She’s running scared with you because she doesn’t trust her unconscious and she’s worried that she may have chosen another woman who’s going to dump her too. Your poor girlfriend is so tormented and the key to her healing is to become aware of the origin of her terror of abandonment.I advise her to do my Personality Profile and, if I am correct, the consultation will identify abandonment terror as her core wound and it will guide her to heal this wound. If she wants to understand more about my Core Therapy method, have her read my Free Report, which explains the link between early wounds and relationship woes.When her wound is healed, she will stop being so terrified and insecure with you and your relationship will flourish.