I hear in your question an underlying feeling of inadequacy–like there is something wrong with you because you can’t come without fantasy; and can only come through oral sex. First of all, you need to know that, according to research, more than 50% of women cannot experience orgasm in intercourse. In order to improve the odds of having an orgasm in intercourse, there are several techniques that you and your lover can try. Keep in mind that if they don’t work, and you never have an orgasm in intercourse, you are perfectly normal.Technique One: Engage in direct clitoral stimulation (oral or manual) until you are almost ready to have an orgasm. Then begin intercourse.Technique Two: Add clitoral stimulation to intercourse.Technique Three: Try the woman on top position which creates more clitoral stimulation.Now, as for the question of fantasy. Most women do fantasize while having sex with a partner. Doing so is completely normal. In fact, fantasizing about different partners and scenes is actually healthy. You see, we humans do need variety, and fantasy supplies variety within the safety of a committed relationship. Fantasy is safe way to experience the sense of variety. Some women feel guilty about engaging in fantasy while making love with their partners (believing that they are cheating in their minds). Remember thoughts, feelings and fantasies are a far cry from actions. Fantasizing about other men doesn’t mean that you are betraying your lover, nor does it mean that you don’t love your partner enough. You are perfectly normal. So, enjoy your sexual pleasure.
